words + phrases...

movies. faithfulness. God-sized-prayer-requests. snow. learning. good-byes. hope. school. work. holidays. blessed. dreams. boots. new year. snuggly babies. quality friends. laughter. family. relaxation. imperfection. french press. sleeping in. painting nails. pleading for wisdom+healing. shopping. burt's bees. gift-giving. sledding. royal oak. a good cry {or two}. text messages. God's goodness. Hope in hurt+pain. skype. new adventures. slow to speak+quick to listen. creativity. worship. journals. enjoying the ride. in awe. small group. australia. reading. rest in Him. connections. courageous. sweaters. curiosity. answered prayers. at a loss for words. unfailing Love. gracious. talking about God. talking to God.. a lot.

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The LORD has done great things for {me}, and {I am} filled with joy. {psalm one-twenty-six:three}

For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not provide false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. {habakkuk two:three}

Right this second...

I'm wearing:
...these pants that I forgot I had, they seriously might be the most comfortable pants I've ever worn. They're light weight, kind of baggy, & cozy.. I'm in love.

It feels:
...like it should be later than 11:00.

I'm enjoying:
...laying on my parents couch watching Elizabethtown with my twin & mom. I think I've seen this movie more than any other movie in the whole world. I don't know what it is about it. I love it & could watch it over & over again..
{my family went down to Nashville last November.. we drove through Elizabethtown, KY on our way home.. :)}

I wish this weekend I was:
...going on one of Claire's cross-country road trips.

I'm a little ashamed:
...of how attached I am to this new friend I acquired last weekend... her name is BlackBerry.

I'm thinking about:
...how excited I am to go to yoga & hang out with my sisters tomorrow night in the city of Detroit.

I'm still:
...getting used to living back at my parents house.. missing the sound of the train at night

I'm still wondering & curious about:
...this next season of my life that is unfolding in front of me..

I'm wishing:
...I was counting down to a vacation to a private island somewhere & no agenda, or at least ...another long weekend at the St. Regis in Orange County,

I'm dreaming of:
...fall, crunchy leaves, cider mills, apple orchards, & earth tones.

I'm still soaking up:
...habakkuk one.

I'm thinking about how I need to:
...buy some lawn tickets to see my boys Ray&Gray.

I'm smiling about:
...my adventure with 100+ students/leaders to Detroit starting on Sunday.

I'm a little sad about:
...not visiting Lake Ann Camp for the first time in TEN years this summer.

I'm remembering:
...the sweet little faces that I met last summer in West Viginia!

I should be:
...sleeping.

go watch Elizabethtown..

Some
m u s i c
n e e d s
a i r,
roll
down
your
window..


[this is one of my favorite movies --that is one of my favorite quotes from the movie + it has an even more amazing soundtrack...]

What is on my mind at 12:09am...

1. I just went to see Where the Wild Things Are. I was pretty excited when I heard in the spring about it becoming a movie and was even more excited when it finally came out in October, but I was just now getting around to seeing it...

• its NOT a kids movie
• its sad
• its scary at some points
• it has good music in it

2. The other day I drove past the house I grew up in & lived in for 18 years of my life. Its weird to see someone else living in "my" house. The four bedroom, ranch style, house with large windows in the front, brick front walk, huge backyard, covered with four-five story high trees that shade the sun during the day...

• its weird seeing someone else's cars in the driveway
• the yard doesn't look as well kept as my dad used to keep it
• there's 20+ years of Fillmore memories in that house
• even though its on a main street, it still felt cozy & homey

3. I saw The i-Heart-Revolution film/documentary.

• it needs to be viewed again, to take down notes
  
• its definitely mind blowing all the good + bad things that go & do go on in the world around us
• its comforting to know that there's only ONE love & hope for all man kind
• it makes me sad to hear people talk poorly about the whole idea/concept, their blindness, & being OK with the comfortable lives they lead..

4. Over the weekend roughly 190+ leaders, students, & myself encountered God at the Thirsty retreat. At least two students that I've heard of accepted Christ as their Savior! (So exciting!) We learned what it meant to be thirsty for freedom, authenticity, purpose, & identity.

• its ok to be open with people, not hide behind all of your accomplishments or good things in your life, but let people see & know your hurts & struggles
• we don't have it all together, so let's not pretend to.
• when we are stripped down & raw & exposed, then we realize that only His grace is sufficient for us.
• He is right in the middle of every single aspect of my life with me.
• He "likes" us, He wants to spend time with us.
• He desires us.
• He quiets us with his love. The "leaves me speechless" kind of love.
• He (Yahweh), rejoices over ME with singing.

*its t h r e e .... i should be sleeping

*honestly, i neeeed to curve this habit of mine. i stay up much to late. late enough that commercials for excersie equipment, acne cleanser, & natural make up comes on. i am currently sitting in my bed,wide-eyed, i dont even know why? i cant recall the last time i went to bed before 1 to 2 am.... its not very healthy. anyway, while i am up.....here are some random thoughts of mine about life, love, & other mysteries...

L I F E .

christmas has come & gone.

[much to quickly]

christmas consisted of:

-friends

-[extended] family

-all seven fillmores under one roof for a few days

-cookies

-gifts

-cleaning

-eating

-movies

there is a lot of snow this year

but its going to be almost fifty tomorrow [today]...!?

walking up to the corner for coffee & lunch...has become one of my new favorite activities

i am d e t e r m i n e d to get healthy [for real] in oh-nine.

*not just physically, but also spiritually...

-having diabetes i should automatically want to be and force myself to be healthy, but i have a case of procrastination and laziness more often times than not.

-i need to [get more sleep]

-run more often

-eat healthier

-i need to have more dates with my Jesus

-get to know Him more.

*i can do ALL things thru Christ who strengthens me.

sisterly L O V E .

i am very thankful for t w o sisters.

-although we are not exactly "best friends" [all three of us], i do enjoy the time i spend with both of them at the same time. especially when we attempt to ditch extended-family gatherings, and brittany tries to teach c & i how to knit...

- i admire how bold and brave my older sister is. she seems to not be afraid of anything & is always looking for something new and exciting to take on. she is so creative and loves to help people.

-and then theres courtney. we might have pretty similar dna, but we are pretty different. i wish i was as artistic as courtney. although i try to play piano or guitar, draw or write, courtney seems to have this eye for artistic things. i love that. her & i also just really have this bond, that i really dont think i could ever share with anyone else...perhaps a future husband, but we'll have to wait & see..

-i do take both of them for granted a lot... and treat them poorly a lot, but i have been working on showing them more genuine love lately....

*the following could & should be its own topic, but its on my mind [at three-ish a.m.]....!?

O T H E R M Y S T E R I E S .

to be completely honest...

-i am that girl, who has dreamed of getting married and having a wedding, since--well since i can remember. i dont typically talk about this dream of mine unless im with brittany joy or courtney, but i really cannot wait.

-but wedding plans aside, since seventh grade when my english teacher [at a christian school of course] talked to us about praying for our future spouses, i pretty much have done since then.

-typically when i am talking to God i pray something like this: "dear God, i dont know who he is, where he is, or what he is doing right now...." and then go on, but then i bite my tongue and pray about my future with or without a husband. and ask God to help me to be content with His plans for me--married or not.

-saying that God does bless me with a man that loves God more than he love me, that i'd call my husband...then i can't wait to plan a wedding, wear a fancy dress, & be a princess for a day, and then actually be married to my best friend & spend the rest of our lives together for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from that day forward until death do us part.

-i talk to my mom a lot about this subject. [joking-ly] courtney & i ask my mom if she is concerned that none of her twenty-one & nineteen year old daughters have ever had a boyfriend or even been asked out on a date before. then my lisa [i call my mom by her first name. i have for a while now, i dont really now since when. but she knows i respect her & its kind of a running joke between her & i...'lisa' says it's a "term of endearment":)] replys: "no, i am not concerned, i think that i am blessed..." not her words exactly but, she so often reminds the three daughters that "he" is out there somewhere & God will bring "him" into our lives in His own timing. mmm. *truth.

-so often after conversations like these occur, i think about these things & realize how i am blessed that somehow [by the grace of God no doubt] that i have been raised to not long or desire to have to always have a boyfriend, or be aggressive & seek such attention from guys. i think that i am blessed because i haven't had to face heartbreak, disappointment, or temptation throughout my teen years thus far. i do wish, hope, & pray that if God brings that guy into my life, that he's the one, and that he's the only one.

-in a nutshell, i admire those who don't have to date +1 gentlemen, but "date" & marry one.

-i really do feel blessed that i have never dated or been in a "serious" relationship. being friends with guys is good for me.

-i really do enjoy praying & wondering about a future husband that really does love his Jesus more than me.

-also, i do love wisdom from my lisa.

*i hope everyone had a delightful christmas & didn't just think about opening gifts or eating cookies, but remembered that the only reason we even have christmas is because a Savior was born to die for us & save us from a life of sin & apart from Him.

ABBA FATHER,

thank You for sending Your Son to this earth

to be born, life, & die as a man for me.

thank You for family.

thank You for siblings.

help me to show them real love more often.

thank You for a mom who loves You

& relays wisdom about You & Your plan for me, to me.

thank You for taking me back always.

even when so often times i get away from You.

thank You for random things on my mind, at four in the morning....

deep breath.

now i am ready to close my eyes.

PS:

i suggest you get your hands on a copy of "Advent Songs" by Soujourn. it is a beautiful set of christmas songs. i will definitely find myself listening to it, long after christmas time....