Showing posts with label the good. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the good. Show all posts

Monday, August 1, 2011

ten at ten..


it's august!?

ten things about this {almost over} summer of eleven::

one) twin has been home for a while & it feels like she never even left!
two) my friend became a mrs. & I had fun being a part of her special day!
three) bike rides + a cute basket
four) hot hot heat + tan skin
five) loving on my babies + creating everything under the sun with construction paper
six)
learning lots about relationships with people + my relationship with God.
seven) I crossed something off of my list of 30 things to do before I'm 30: #20
eight) fireworks on a rooftop + in a park.
nine) a lot of romans twelve.
ten) a week in nashville: old friends, new friends, seeing God through three sweet little boys, hot & sweaty & getting hands dirty, a homeless man asked me to marry him, sweet little cousins, long bus rides.





Wednesday, July 20, 2011

romans 12...


be transformed by the renewing of your mind
love must be sincere, cling to what is good
honor others above yourself
joyful in hope
patient in affliction
faithful in prayer
being hospitable
share with the needy
rejoice with those who mourn
live in harmony
don't be proud
don't be conceded
overcome evil with good.


{+first john three:sixteen}
{photo credit: cfillmore}

Monday, June 20, 2011

MY TWIN IS ALMOST HOME!!!

Today is June 20th & I will see my long-lost-twin-sister for the first time since January 8th! It is weird because it seems like a really long time ago, but also kind of just seems like yesterday!

This has been the longest we've been apart our whole life & after being glued to each others hips for 21 years we finally were doing life on our own, separately from each other. having separate adventures, meeting people as Lindsay or Courtney not as "twins", & we survived & it was good!! God yet again awe's me by His perfect timing with her & I experiencing life on our own for this past season of our lives, becoming individuals, not just twins, not always having someone to come with us, wait with us, a security blanket always at hand!

I'm stoked to see her. Excited to tell her random things that aren't really that funny, but she listens to anyway, hear her long stories, hear the great things God has done in her heart & life in the last few months, stay up late with her, talk in code, get to know her again, just spend time with her!!


I'm praying, praying, & praying some more that adjusting to being "twins" again goes smoothly & we pick up right where we left off!

This is a rich life I live.. thank God for a weekend full of people that make me smile, cool-summer nights, family, & a lot of veggin'!

Here's to a good start of a long next two months of watching babies everyday, being a twin again, & trying to have a little bit of free time!!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

ten at ten..

ten at ten..

one) Michigan skipped spring, 40's to 90's... I'm digging the hot & sweaty lifestyle the last few weeks!

two) my skin is starting to look sun-kissed & it's not even officially summer yet! Typically it takes at least until the end of July for me to look somewhat tan!!

three) I don't think people understand the craziness of how soon my long lost twin comes home! We're talking two weeks from yesterday!!!!!!!!

*four) The last few days I've been in a funk making me really frustrated, annoyed, & in a bratty mood.. but thankfully it was just a funk, and I'm realizing I'm just really kind of selfish & God is just using circumstances to show me He's in control... not me!
{AND it's just always a punch/slap in the face for me to snap out of because I am SOOOOO spoiled with the life God has given me.. I might not have a million dollars laying around but I'm spoiled & take SO much in this life I've been given for granted wayyyy too easily & I let the feelings of wanting more or not being satisfied get in the way of my thanks/surrendering it all back the One who gave it to me...holla at my mumma for good heart/reality checks.}

five) I've been trying to avoid pants of any sort the last few weeks. Skirts & dresses please! {soon my twin will return home with several dresses waiting for me to borrow..!!}

six) Due to the lack of reliable radio in my car it is obnoxious having to find something to listen to while driving that is not fussy or country music.. so thanks to our friends in the North, CBC Radio 2 has become my new favorite thing in the morning while I drive to work & in the afternoon when I drive home.. I'm obsessed.

seven) I've been dating a pretty sweet guy that I had a crush on for a long time..for seven months now?! It's crazy & makes me happy!

eight) I'm going to Wayne State in the fall {FINALLY!!!!} & one of my sisters roommates is moving out in August.. hmm...

*nine) I've been reading a lot of my old journals lately.. it's SO crazy how different only a year can look from one to the next!?!? Good, bad, ugly, & everything in-between!!!

ten) Hoppipolla by Sigur Ros just came on my iTunes.. I think I will still enjoy this song until I'm 99 years old.

*kind of related: old journals & writing about the good, the bad, & the ugly, being spoiled with this rich life, all kind of correlate.

xox

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

overwhelm {me}...

I should be finishing my homework right now... but Isaiah 61 & I Want to know You by Jesus Culture are distracting me, making me want to jump up & down::

soak up some truth & goodness...

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor
.
{isaiah sixty-one}

{Grace never ending
Your hands they carry me

Your body is broken
for all the world to see

my heart is held
by love so unconditional

You captivate me
let Your spirit overwhelm me

let Your presence overtake my heart...}

{picture, totally unrelated:: just r-e-a-l-l-y missing my twin right now..
it has officially been the longest we've gone without communication.}

Thursday, March 24, 2011

HIS grip..

"your HEAVENLY FATHER has a firm grip on you. HIS vantage point is way above the water level. HE'S bigger than you. HE'S stronger than you. and HE'S got you safely in HIS grip. it gets better: when you get down to it, you're not the one holding on to HIM -- HE'S holding on to you. maybe you're afraid that if you pray a sun stand still prayer & live in audacious faith, you'll end up letting GOD down. but the reality is, you were never holding HIM up."
--steven furtick, sun stand still


Thursday, January 13, 2011

words + phrases...

movies. faithfulness. God-sized-prayer-requests. snow. learning. good-byes. hope. school. work. holidays. blessed. dreams. boots. new year. snuggly babies. quality friends. laughter. family. relaxation. imperfection. french press. sleeping in. painting nails. pleading for wisdom+healing. shopping. burt's bees. gift-giving. sledding. royal oak. a good cry {or two}. text messages. God's goodness. Hope in hurt+pain. skype. new adventures. slow to speak+quick to listen. creativity. worship. journals. enjoying the ride. in awe. small group. australia. reading. rest in Him. connections. courageous. sweaters. curiosity. answered prayers. at a loss for words. unfailing Love. gracious. talking about God. talking to God.. a lot.

The LORD has done great things for {me}, and {I am} filled with joy. {psalm one-twenty-six:three}

For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not provide false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. {habakkuk two:three}

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

overwhelmed..

For our third-annual Christmas get-together with my girls {babes, sisters...}, we got all dolled up & had a huge, delicious dinner together.

I love dressing up, I love dresses, I love wearing heels, I love putting make-up on, I love curling my hair, I love it. So its always exciting to get all dolled-up for dinner with some of my favorite girls. In years past we've gone out to eat all dressed up, but this year it was kind of sweet just dressing up to go over to Angela's.

After we ate & took pictures {of course}, we put our "cozy clothes" on, ate dessert, & started what turned into an almost four hour period of time of just sharing what God has been doing in our lives since the last time we all met {in this setting, last spring}

It was one of the best experiences I've ever had & will always remember. One by one, we all talked about God, our families, school, work, guys, friends, & everything else in-between, struggles, highs, lows, & weaknesses, but there was so much openness, honesty, & rawness. And there was a lot of tears & tissues, but also a lot of laughs. It was so great!!
Once more & more of us started talking about our lives over the past few months, we started to see a trend or thread throughout each of our stories/updates that all kind of related to each other. It was so encouraging!

It's also just sweet to think back over the last few years that this group of girls have been together. We've all grown & matured SO much, its awesome. It's awesome that we have each other to share about what Gods doing in our lives with!
There was one point when we gathered around Angela & prayed over her. It was so great, she has prayed over us & for us so many times, it was so sweet to be able to come around her & pray over her!

When I left {at 2:30am} I felt so filled, so overwhelmed, and just feeling overly blessed once again by God's greatness in my life.

How did I get so blessed with such a rich sisterhood that I know I'll have around me for years to come!? I wish every girl could experience times like these & have a group of sisters like mine...

It was definitely a sweet early Christmas gift..

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

hey December...

..so about this diet I've been on for the last month. It was so refreshing to not be consumed by things that don't matter or are distracting to me for a few weeks. I've come to the conclusion that the social networking scene is good for staying connected with people I don't see on a regular basis, so I have missed that, but really don't miss any of it otherwise.

It was all really what I needed coming out of such a pit! It hasn't been easy, but it's been so good.
October was really yucky, November was really great, & now it's December already!?

Can I share two verses that were shared with me earlier in November after talking about all of this fasting,
the pit that was October & just being all-around distracted for so long? Of course I can! So I used two different versions of the Bible to smash these two verses together:

{...casting down arguments & every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. [New King James]

...our {God}tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction & building lives of obedience into maturity.
[The Message]}
{second corinthians ten:five & six}

Thursday, November 25, 2010

the cliché thanksgiving blog..

I didn't want to do it, but it has to happen; the cliché thanksgiving blog..

First of all, it doesn't feel like Thanksgiving.. it definitely crept up on me, I don't know where November went + it's not as cold as Michigan typically is right now.

{side note: I feel like autumn is over right after Thanksgiving because the world is consumed by everything Christmas once it's over... even though it technically isn't winter until December 21st, so it makes me kind of sad that now I have to get ready for a long winter.}


Thanksgiving since I can remember in the Fillmore house {when we stay home} involves a lot of cooking, watching the parade, the whole clan under one roof, just spending time together, eating a lot, & the day typically ends with a lot of sweatshirts, pajamas, & being cozy while watching It's A Wonderful Life. It just makes me smile, happy, & feeling blessed.
So here are just some of the things I'm thankful for right now:my big family: mom & dad Fillmore, the sisters, & the brothers {my life would be so boring without them} + friends that I can talk about God with, what He's doing in our lives, & encourage each other + being a part of a church body that's alive & thriving to increase the Kingdom + second, third, fourth, hundredth chances.. how did I get so lucky & why has God blessed me so much?

{psalm one-hundred}

*I randomly saw Brandon Flowers last night {for FREE!} & can't stop listening to his song {Only the Young}, the video for it is pretty great.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

there is no significance..

+I almost didn't post this just because it holds no significance whatsoever, especially compared to the last blog I posted on here..BUT regardless can I vent for a second? I love Christmas, I love decorations, I love the hustle & bustle, I love the Christmas drinks from Starbucks, I love their red-holiday cups. Do me a favor if you work at Starbucks & don't put my Christmas drink in a regular cup. It's such a let down, the Peppermint Mocha just doesn't taste the same coming out of a regular cup..


+In other news, I started a new job. I needed to be with people. Not babies, toddlers, or kids. I love them, but I needed to find a job where I could have a conversation about something other than my favorite color or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, that doesn't involve; potty-training, sticky fingers, playing with Play-Doh, cranky four-year olds, or making grilled cheese. I had been looking for a new job since September & had several very-hopeful interviews & filled out applications for a whole variety of jobs, but none of them worked out.


+But within a week of applying to Banana Republic I had two interviews & was hired! I'm now an employee at a store I've never shopped at, am intimidated by, at a mall I despise, & at the last place I ever imagined I'd work at, but I'm excited about it. I haven't been employed by a company for the last three years & never for such a huge corporation, such as Gap Inc., so I have already learned a lot & have a lot more to learn, but it's good + I don't mind having to dress up for work, instead of just rolling out of bed, putting a hat on & a pair of jeans that I don't mind getting dirty, & I'm a fan of a 50% discount.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

for all my sisters...

This... has taken a long time for me to write! It's hard to talk about some of these topics, but I tried to do it as carefully as I could because it all means a lot to me. It took a lot of tweaking & a lot of asking God for the right words to use. But low & behold here is a lot of words regarding a whole plethora of things I'm passionate about. It's long, so get ready.

I'm writing this specifically geared toward a potpourri of lovely high school girls in my life that are a part of Woodside Student Ministry, but it can relate to any female really no matter her age, including myself. So read this as if I was sitting across from you at Starbucks over a cup of coffee or hot chocolate....

If you & I were sitting down at a Starbucks, Caribou, Panera, your house, my house, at church, wherever, to chat about life, love, & other mysteries right now, I would as gently & as lovingly as I could scream this into your heart, because I love YOU. Do me a favor & read this slowly. Soak it up. Drink up some truth for a minute {or two} sister. {I'm screaming it all right into my own heart too..}

{YOU are beautiful no matter what.}
You my sweet friend, are a beauty. Your freckles, your eyes, your eye lashes, your mouth, your smile, your teeth; straight, crooked, with braces, with spaces, white or yellow.. are beautiful. Your eye brows; skinny, bushy, plucked, waxed, untouched... are beautiful. Your ears, your nose, your blemishes, your acne, everything on your face that your make-up hides.. is beautiful. Your height, your weight, your skin color, your toes, your fingers, your arms, your tummy, everything about YOU.. is beautiful. And are exactly how & where a very crafty Creator perfectly intended. Before time began God was sketching a picture of YOU & deciding where each freckle, birth mark, & mole would be on your body. Do not FOR ONE SECOND let ANYONE {your mom, sister, brother, dad, uncle, aunt, grandma, grandpa, friend, BEST friend, or the reflection in your mirror} tell you otherwise.

{YOU are worth more than YOU could ever imagine.}
Sister, do you know how much you're REALLY worth? Do you know that a King gave His WHOLE life for just YOU? Do you know that He saved YOU? Do you know YOU mean more than anything in the world to HIM? Did you know He chose YOU to be His? He wants YOU. Do you know YOU are desired by an all-knowing, all-loving, mysterious, wondrous God? Did you know YOU are written on HIS heart? Did you know YOU are worth more than any precious jewels, diamonds, or rubies to Him? Did you know He craves time with just YOU? Did you know He longs for YOU? Did you know HE wants what's best for YOU? Did you know He knows what YOUR heart needs? Did you know He is the author of YOUR story? This Man, is your Beloved & He is YOURS, YOU are His. If you let Him be. Even if you don't right now.. He'll be waiting patiently for YOU to come running into His arms. Even if you can't accept His love for YOU, you are STILL worth more than anyone or anything to HIM & that He'll always be there just for YOU. Sister, no man, husband, boyfriend, friend, anyone or anything.. can ever love you as much as He does.

{are YOU talking to God?}
Do you talk to our God? Like really, REALLY talk to Him? Do you talk to Him about the desires of your heart? Do you ask Him to do God-sized things in your life? Do you believe He can do God-sized things in your life? Do you get on your face before Him pleading for direction, guidance, or wisdom for your journey? Don't be scared, ashamed, embarrassed, or feeling unworthy when it comes to talking to God about the the biggest, craziest, or teeny-tiniest desires of your heart! He already knows ALL of them, and the desires of your heart ten years from now, and fifty years from now. He desires to hear all about it from YOU. Let Him know when you have a good, great, horrible, exciting, horrific, sad, or happy day. Let Him know when you're frustrated with Him, let go of your pride & let Him know you really don't have it all together & you NEED Him to hold your hand & guide YOU.

*{the future husband prayer.}
Story time, I remember sitting in my seventh grade English class (at a Christian school) with Mrs. Smith & her telling us about her & her husband. She told us that she had started praying for her husband when she was young, I guess it never really crossed my mind until she mentioned that, but I liked it & it caught my attention. Since then I've pretty much done the same. The prayer has changed a bit over the years but has stayed pretty constant: "God, I don't know who HE is, where HE is, or what HE's doing right now..." you get the gist of it right? I believe in a big God. I believe in a God who listens to His children when they call on Him. You talk, He listens, even if you're talking about someone you can only dream about right now. You can even use my prayer for Prince Charming if you want!

{hold high standards for YOURSELF}
As a twenty-one year old, college student, there are a whole lot of OTHER things I could be doing with my life right now that people my age, younger, or older are involved with. I could be a smoker, I could be an alcoholic, I could be sleeping with a different guy every weekend, I could be out all night making bad decisions & doing a lot of things I would regret later on. As a pretty sensitive person with an overly guilty conscience, I'm not anywhere near involved with any of that. I hold pretty high standards for myself & want to be a good example to YOU, to be someone YOU can look up to. I'M NOT PERFECT (by any stretch of the imagination), but I want to be there for YOU. I want to be here to encourage YOU. I want to be a voice in YOUR head to remind you that you DON'T have to do this or that to look "cool" or to "fit in", that it's OK to stand out & be different. As Christians we're supposed look different from the world, don't let the garbage of this world tempt YOU! Decide what you want people's view of you to look like. Do you want to be different? To look like a little Christ? I survived high school without going to homecoming, any house parties, prom, without drinking, doing drugs, or having sex, and I still had a very fun & pleasant high school experience that left me feeling blessed.

{If you're a female, YOU are captivating.}
The word captivate is a verb that simply means to hold the attraction of a noun (in this case, YOU as a woman, girl, lady, she, her, sister, daughter, all around female; are captivating to the male species.) You catch their attention, catch his attention the right way though. Be captivating by being who YOU are. Don't try to be someone or something you're not to catch his attention.. Sister you're captivating the way you are, being yourself. Don't be a chameleon. PLEASE, don't be. Don't change who you are to win the attention of a GUY! If that's the case.. then he is NOT worth your while. He should be interested in who YOU are, not who you pretend to be!

{survive high school/college without a boyfriend!?}
Crazy I know, but SISTER, I'm just going to say it, and you can argue with me about it if you want but dating in high school is a waste of time. *Any guy reading this can hear this too because it's the truth, I have two younger brothers, one in high school, guys in high school are not looking for a serious relationship, a wife, a soul-mate. You are not ready to get married or to be someone's wife. (dating in my book is for marriage, not a recreational sport, you & I can talk about this another time..) The chances of your high school relationship(s) lasting after graduation is slim to none. Have guy friends! Have fun with them! Hang out with them! Get to know them! Sister, graduate from high school, go to college, get a degree, travel, start a revolution, experience your late teen-twenties-days, AND if God brings a potential-God-fearing-handsome-man into your story in the midst of your college-travel-degree-getting-revolution-making-days, then let it be. I've done it, I'm doing it right now. I've survived. I am about as single as one can be, I've never had a boyfriend, I've never been in a relationship, and guess what? I have friends that are my age or younger that are married, engaged, or in serious relationships, & I'm still confused, learning, & trying to understand the whole male-species as a twenty-one year old. That's all I can say about this..

{YOU deserve nothing less than better, than the best.}
When/if a guy wanders into your life, he should respect you for who YOU are & the standards YOU hold for yourself. He should be encouraging & building you up, not discouraging you or tearing you down (physically, verbally, or emotionally). He should be friends with your friends. You deserve a guy who loves the Lord & likes to talk about what God is doing in both of your lives. You deserve a guy who challenges you spiritually & encourages you in your walk with God. He should be knowledgeable of the Bible. He should have a band of brothers who challenge him. He should have another guy in his life that challenges him spiritually & keeps him accountable. You also deserve a man who prays for you & with you. That's just some of what you deserve in a man. Don't settle for anything less or anything convenient.

{THEY need US to help them.}
As girls we like to look nice, we like to feel attractive, we like positive attention right? As daughters of the King, it's our responsibility to help our BROTHERS. What we wear, how we look, the way we move, the way we act, the things we say, can all alter how a guy views us. We're responsible for helping guard their purity & helping them by not being a stumbling block in their lives. There is a way to look nice & feel attractive without putting a negative light on ourselves as women. It builds character & helps us feel good about ourselves when we know we're not causing one of our brothers to stumble. And on the contrary.. I have no tolerance for MEN of any age talking disrespectfully about any girl, whether I know her or not. So let's save all of ourselves some trouble & protect our brothers eyes & help them to not have to talk in a demeaning way to us because of our appearance or how we carry ourselves, carry yourself like the Princess you are.

{Be productive in the waiting for Prince Charming..}
As women we long to be pursued. Our heart desires that special attention from a male, we like that special attention. While we wait for him to come into our stories we can't be wishing our lives away, we can't be sitting back & wallowing in self-pity because Prince Charming hasn't come along yet! We need to be spending time with our God. We need to be hanging out with our SISTERS. We need to be growing & learning things along the way & experiencing the life God has given to us. It's OK to be the wedding-dreaming-baby-name-list-making-sappy-Matt-Wertz-love-song-listening girl.. like myself, as long as you are growing in your relationship with God. Let Him show YOU what He wants for your story. Where He wants you to be. All of our stories are different. All of us experience life in different ways, just let God continue orchestrating it while you wait ever-so patiently for Prince Charming to sweep you off your feet. So when Prince Charming comes to sweep you off your feet, sweet sister of mine, your heart is so in tune with your FIRST LOVE's heart that He allows a new man in your life.. it will be a beautiful thing.


You made it. You read these words, do some soaking up, write some things down, process it however you chose fit, but I'd really like to hear from YOU sister. I don't give out my phone number very freely, but I have e-mail, facebook, & do enjoy sitting at coffee shops for chats.

{lefillmore@comcast.net --this goes to my phone or lindsayefillmore@gmail.com}

Monday, October 4, 2010

chosen...

“For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons {daughters} through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.”

{I co-lead a small group of tenth grade girls every Wednesday with my mommy & we’re going over Ephesians this semester. So before Lighthouse I was just reading over Ephesians & writing things down & pondering the chapter.

This is just a few of the verses from Ephesians 1.. you should go read the rest of it, because it was such a perfect reminder for me tonight that the God of the universe CHOSE me. He PICKED me. He WANTED me. Before time began God thought of choosing Lindsay Erin Fillmore to be one of His own.

The reminder of that kind of took my breath away while I was reading the rest of the chapter. Because everyone wants to picked. Everyone longs to be wanted. Everyone desires to be chosen.

And HE chose me. I was adopted into His family. I belong to HIM.

Thank you LORD.}

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

step by step..

IN HER HEART
A WOMAN PLANS
HER COURSE,
BUT THE LORD
DETERMINES
HER STEPS.
{proverbs sixteen:nine}

...two years of wanting to teach kindergarten to cute five year olds, I'm not feelin' it anymore, psychology is calling my name. Right when I "thought" I had everything all planned with finishing school to teach, God reminds me it's not up to me & I just have to plan as best I can with where He has me & He'll take care of the rest, even if that means changing majors half way through.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

too good to be true...?

There are only a few more days left of the month of May in the year of twenty-ten? Where did May go? Seriously. On May 1st I was in California… that seems like it was yesterday!!

Anyway, this has been a lovely month of May. The kind of lovely where I feel like it was too good to be true. One day something bad was bound to happen, because I can definitely have some bad days...

It consisted of…
hanging with friends.
enjoying the weather.
watching little ones a lot.
traveling.
getting excited about being a part of a church that’s alive & doing things to increase the Kingdom.
talking to God a lot, pleading for wisdom & direction on this journey called life.
watching my brothers play baseball.
having dinner with my family.
listening to a lot of good new & old music.
staying up too late.
sleeping in past noon.
cozying with babies.
driving a lot.
writing in the last page of one of my most favorite journals to date, which actually kind of made me sad, because I liked that journal a lot & have some good stuff in there…
waking up every morning with this crazy feeling of happiness, excitement, & joy…

Like the old Newsboys song says:
“You give me joy that’s unspeakable, and I
like it…”

{took the words right out of my mouth}

So I like it. I like this joy my Creator fills me with & I it makes me smile. But maybe it has all been too good to be true and there really is something God is preparing my heart for that is the BAD?

The other night I was reminded of the truth in the fact that where there is good, bad often follows. So immediately I started getting these thoughts in my head of all the possibilities of what could be around the corner that would be this bad...

Can you still have this unspeakable joy even if God throws an unpleasant situation into your life? I hope I can. I hope & pray that in my life whatever God brings my way good or bad, that I can still contain this unexplainable joy & smile at the day He’s given me, even if it brings pain or heartache...



…we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.{romans eight:twenty-eight}

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The good, the bad, & the ugly...

The good...
Coming into the month of April, I was prepared for one of the craziest months of my life, just with school, work, & a million other things I had to get done before the month was over, when I could go to California & be done with school!

So once April hit, it felt like it was going too good to be true. School was going good, I was getting everything done, Good Friday & Easter were awesome times of worship, I was spending a lot of time with friends, I was seeing God in new ways, enjoying live music & the city of Detroit, the weather was just ridiculous... all around the first two weeks of April were lovely & I had no complaints!

The bad...
Yesterday (Monday) I definitely woke up on the WRONG side of the bed, because every little thing was making me annoyed & in a bad mood. Starting with my yoga class, which is usually the highlight of my Mondays, I usually leave yoga feeling very relaxed & awake & ready for the day, I left annoyed & not relaxed.

Then I had to drive twenty minutes away just to meet with this group from a class for a group project (*I HATE group projects, I work 10x better alone, not having to rely on other people) And I was already annoyed with the people in my group which didn't help.

It was just a really bad & annoying Monday morning/afternoon. BUT it was a good afternoon when I got to be outside, downtown, enjoying the sunshine & fresh air, then I spent some time with my family for dinner.

The ugly...
*disclaimer, don't keep reading if you don't like hearing about gross things, I'm just sharing the ugly part of my bad day*

I woke up this morning, feeling OK, started getting ready for the day, was ready to get this presentation with my group out of the way. But once I got out of the shower I started to feel sick & gross, but I just ignored it, until I threw up not once, twice, but probably five times within a thirty minute period.

"Sweet, I have a presentation to do in an hour & I just threw up & feel like I'm going to pass out, its going to be a good day."

So once I was done with that whole mess, I felt alright, still debating with myself whether or not I was going to go to class. I didn't go. Every time I stood up to go finish getting ready, I'd feel like I was going to be sick again. I missed my presentation, but to be completely honest, I didn't feel that bad about it because I was in a bad mood already & I wasn't about to go stand in front of my class & present while feeling sick.

{FYI this throwing up & feeling sick, was from this little thing called "not taking care of your diabetes, even though you've had it for twelve years & you should know better."}

SO... pretty much even though the past two days have been obnoxious & annoying & making me wish I could go on a month long vacation to a secluded island, where I could just sit on a beach all day & do nothing but listen to music, read, & relax. *Only in my dreams.*

AND...I just had to vent, rant, & complain for a little while, but I know that...whenever I face trials of many kinds, because I know that the testing of my faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. {james one:two-four}

{I feel ya Alexander...}

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Thank you C.S. Lewis...

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can't understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right & stopping the leaks in the roof & so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing & so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably & does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of -- throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards.
You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come & live in it Himself."
--C.S. Lewis


{This is just what I needed these past few weeks. As much as I want control & say over what remodeling, rebuilding, & change God has planned for the "house" I live in, He has been showing me over & over again these past few weeks, that it's not up to me.

He is the one doing all the remodeling, rebuilding, & change in my life. Even though I don't know what remodeling, rebuilding, & change He is up to in my "house" right now, I'm slowly, but surely working on letting go of the expectations & control I think I have over these renovations in the "house" called l i f e... it's scary & nerve-racking, but freeing, peaceful, & comforting all at the same time to know our Creator is transforming us day by day from the inside out for His glory...}

second corinthians {four : sixteen-eighteen}

Friday, March 5, 2010

"If eyes were made for seeing..."

When I was in high school I dreaded English class because it meant having to read a book I wasn't interested in or dissecting sentences, I've become more fond of writing & English classes since then. But my all time favorite English class in high school was with Dr. Matt Watson, he made me interested in English because he knew what he was talking about unlike several English teachers I had in high school.

In his class I read the only book I enjoyed in HS, The Great Gatsby, because he analysied it in a way to keep my attention & made me think about the symbolisim and what Fitzgerald meant by adding certain things to the book.

In Watson's class we also had a huge section on Ralph Waldo Emerson & Walt Whitman and they're the only ones that really still stick out to me because they intrigued me & we watched The Dead Poet's Society & I think Dr. Watson did a pretty good job emulating Robin Williams character with his teaching styles.

But I was at the DIA for the first time in my life yesterday (I'm embarrassed though because I do love art & have lived in Detoirt for 20 years...but there's a first for everything) and I saw this quote above some artwork & fell in love with it & reminded me of how everyone should experience an English class with a Dr. Watson or a John Keating...

Thursday, February 25, 2010

move, worship, psalm..

This past weekend myself along with close to 450 other students & leaders went to WSM's fourth "Winter Experience". God definitely MOVE(d) in mysterious ways the whole weekend. [through our speaker, through the worship, through brothers & sisters in Christ coming together to pray... etc.] It was evident from the first night of being there that God was there & that He was ready to do great things throughout the collective of students & leaders from all the Woodside campuses and both high school & middle school.

On Saturday night we had an extended worship time that I stayed at with some of my girls & I can honestly say that I have never experienced God in such a way. I wasn't really standing around that many people, and really just kept my eyes closed for a good majority of time just to keep focused on worshiping my Creator through music, and I could just feel His presence all around me & knew that He was there with me.

(photo credit:: courtney fillmore)

. . .

I feel like the Lord has been trying to show me patience lately. For him to show me what it looks like to wait for him. For him to reveal his plan for me day by day. For me to stop planning, what I think is best for me and just let him take over.

I know he already has every chapter in the "Book of Lindsay" already written, so why can't I just sit back & enjoy being a character in His story..? Lack of patience & wanting to be the one in control? Yes.

...be still before the LORD & wait patiently for Him. {pslam thirty-seve : three through seven}

Thursday, February 18, 2010

music to my ears..

January / February-esque music that I've been listening to lately, that's too good to keep to myself...

1. Set the Fire to the Third Bar, Snow Patrol
2. Blue Skies, Noah & the Whale
3. Knight of Shinning Armor, Silent Violet
4. No One's Gonna Love You, Band of Horses
5. We Own the Sky, M83
6. Moth's Wings, Passion Pit
7. Half Asleep, School of Seven Bells
8. Much Farther to Go, Rosie Thomas
9. Just Say Yes, Snow Patrol
10. Rosyln, Bon Iver & St. Vincent