Have {life} to the full...

the thief
I HAVE COME
comes
THAT THEY
only to
MAY HAVE
steal and
LIFE, AND
kill and
HAVE IT TO
destroy.
THE FULL.
{john ten:ten}

The good, the bad, & the ugly...

The good...
Coming into the month of April, I was prepared for one of the craziest months of my life, just with school, work, & a million other things I had to get done before the month was over, when I could go to California & be done with school!

So once April hit, it felt like it was going too good to be true. School was going good, I was getting everything done, Good Friday & Easter were awesome times of worship, I was spending a lot of time with friends, I was seeing God in new ways, enjoying live music & the city of Detroit, the weather was just ridiculous... all around the first two weeks of April were lovely & I had no complaints!

The bad...
Yesterday (Monday) I definitely woke up on the WRONG side of the bed, because every little thing was making me annoyed & in a bad mood. Starting with my yoga class, which is usually the highlight of my Mondays, I usually leave yoga feeling very relaxed & awake & ready for the day, I left annoyed & not relaxed.

Then I had to drive twenty minutes away just to meet with this group from a class for a group project (*I HATE group projects, I work 10x better alone, not having to rely on other people) And I was already annoyed with the people in my group which didn't help.

It was just a really bad & annoying Monday morning/afternoon. BUT it was a good afternoon when I got to be outside, downtown, enjoying the sunshine & fresh air, then I spent some time with my family for dinner.

The ugly...
*disclaimer, don't keep reading if you don't like hearing about gross things, I'm just sharing the ugly part of my bad day*

I woke up this morning, feeling OK, started getting ready for the day, was ready to get this presentation with my group out of the way. But once I got out of the shower I started to feel sick & gross, but I just ignored it, until I threw up not once, twice, but probably five times within a thirty minute period.

"Sweet, I have a presentation to do in an hour & I just threw up & feel like I'm going to pass out, its going to be a good day."

So once I was done with that whole mess, I felt alright, still debating with myself whether or not I was going to go to class. I didn't go. Every time I stood up to go finish getting ready, I'd feel like I was going to be sick again. I missed my presentation, but to be completely honest, I didn't feel that bad about it because I was in a bad mood already & I wasn't about to go stand in front of my class & present while feeling sick.

{FYI this throwing up & feeling sick, was from this little thing called "not taking care of your diabetes, even though you've had it for twelve years & you should know better."}

SO... pretty much even though the past two days have been obnoxious & annoying & making me wish I could go on a month long vacation to a secluded island, where I could just sit on a beach all day & do nothing but listen to music, read, & relax. *Only in my dreams.*

AND...I just had to vent, rant, & complain for a little while, but I know that...whenever I face trials of many kinds, because I know that the testing of my faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. {james one:two-four}

{I feel ya Alexander...}

Isaiah 30...

I tend to work best in the middle of the night. As much as I love my sleep, I find it hard to sit and write a paper or do homework during the day, sitting at a desk or at a coffee shop. I can get small-busy-work-research type things done, but when it comes to sitting down and actually writing a paper, however long it is, it only happens in the early AM. Maybe because it's REALLY quite, I'm alone, & not distracted...?! Yes.

Well now, here I sit at 2AM wide-eyed without a school-realted paper to write, and I was just reading through Isaiah 30 and thought about how I feel like God {still} has me in this "waiting season" of life. I don't think I've {really} learned what it means to "wait on Him" or truly sit back and be patient, even though I feel like I've been learning more & more about it since January..

Like He's preparing me for {something}. Big, small, exciting, scary, adventurous, etc. I'm slowly but surely getting closer & closer to the edge of this cliff getting ready to jump into whatever it is God is preparing me for..

So this is what Isaiah hit me with tonight.

{vs. 9-10} ...children unwilling to listen to the LORD's instruction. They say to the seers, "See no more visions!" and to the prophets,"Give us no more visions of what is right!"

After I read these couple verses, it hit me that this is exactly how I tend to be, these two verses have my name by them. I want to ask the prophets what the vision of what is right is! I want to know what is coming! I don't want to listen to what the LORD wants for me! I want to do my own thing. {Note to self, you're kind of a brat.}

{vs. 18} "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion." For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who WAIT FOR HIM!

THEN I read this verse...there is a Man who wants to be gracious & compassionate to me & all He wants is for me to PATIENTLY WAIT for Him!

It gets better.. I kept reading....

{vs. 21} Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

So despite my want-to-be-in-control-esque attitude, God just wants me to WAIT for Him to whisper which way to go next, instead of me worrying and being anxious about {whatever} the next chapter in the story of Lindsay holds.

{there is zero significance between this picture & Isaiah 30...

I just need/want to get a bike.}