romans 12...

be transformed by the renewing of your mind

love must be sincere, cling to what is good

honor others above yourself

joyful in hope

patient in affliction

faithful in prayer

being hospitable

share with the needy

rejoice with those who mourn

live in harmony

don't be proud

don't be conceded

overcome evil with good.

{+first john three:sixteen}

{photo credit: cfillmore}

overwhelmed..

For our third-annual Christmas get-together with my girls {babes, sisters...}, we got all dolled up & had a huge, delicious dinner together.

I love dressing up, I love dresses, I love wearing heels, I love putting make-up on, I love curling my hair, I love it. So its always exciting to get all dolled-up for dinner with some of my favorite girls. In years past we've gone out to eat all dressed up, but this year it was kind of sweet just dressing up to go over to Angela's.

After we ate & took pictures {of course}, we put our "cozy clothes" on, ate dessert, & started what turned into an almost four hour period of time of just sharing what God has been doing in our lives since the last time we all met {in this setting, last spring}

It was one of the best experiences I've ever had & will always remember. One by one, we all talked about God, our families, school, work, guys, friends, & everything else in-between, struggles, highs, lows, & weaknesses, but there was so much openness, honesty, & rawness. And there was a lot of tears & tissues, but also a lot of laughs. It was so great!!
Once more & more of us started talking about our lives over the past few months, we started to see a trend or thread throughout each of our stories/updates that all kind of related to each other. It was so encouraging!

It's also just sweet to think back over the last few years that this group of girls have been together. We've all grown & matured SO much, its awesome. It's awesome that we have each other to share about what Gods doing in our lives with!
There was one point when we gathered around Angela & prayed over her. It was so great, she has prayed over us & for us so many times, it was so sweet to be able to come around her & pray over her!

When I left {at 2:30am} I felt so filled, so overwhelmed, and just feeling overly blessed once again by God's greatness in my life.

How did I get so blessed with such a rich sisterhood that I know I'll have around me for years to come!? I wish every girl could experience times like these & have a group of sisters like mine...

It was definitely a sweet early Christmas gift..

oh Jónsi...

I forgot to add this into my "insignificant blog post", then I realized it's not actually insignificant... well to me anyway!

I saw Jónsi last week. I'm not a hardcore "Yo-n-zee" fan, but I do enjoy his relaxing, creative, artistic, harmony creations along with his band Sigur Rós'. He's crazy, but brilliant at the same time.

{can I share that I spent an entire semester in a piano class during my senior year of high school teaching myself how to play a song from Sigur Rós called Hoppipolla. Watching YouTube video clips, using sheet music, figuring out how to stretch my fingers so far.. it's still one of the only songs I can play on the piano..}

Anyway, the whole evening was an event in itself {music aside}, but I have only ever heard good things about his shows & how they leave you blown away. So I had pretty high expectations.

It was more than I expected. It was unlike any musical experience I've ever had. I really do enjoy music a lot more when I hear it live. I appreciate it more, especially if it's done well.

I appreciate Jónsi more now. The creativity, was beyond me. The backdrops. The music. I've heard that it's like a spiritual experience, I can see that. There were times I wanted to just close my eyes & soak it all in, but I didn't want to miss what was going on.

It was seriously a beautiful portrayal of musical & artistic creativity. I suggest you see him live, if you'd like to experience music in a way you've never experienced before.

{photo credit: Phil Southern}

for all my sisters...

This... has taken a long time for me to write! It's hard to talk about some of these topics, but I tried to do it as carefully as I could because it all means a lot to me. It took a lot of tweaking & a lot of asking God for the right words to use. But low & behold here is a lot of words regarding a whole plethora of things I'm passionate about. It's long, so get ready.

I'm writing this specifically geared toward a potpourri of lovely high school girls in my life that are a part of Woodside Student Ministry, but it can relate to any female really no matter her age, including myself. So read this as if I was sitting across from you at Starbucks over a cup of coffee or hot chocolate....

If you & I were sitting down at a Starbucks, Caribou, Panera, your house, my house, at church, wherever, to chat about life, love, & other mysteries right now, I would as gently & as lovingly as I could scream this into your heart, because I love YOU. Do me a favor & read this slowly. Soak it up. Drink up some truth for a minute {or two} sister. {I'm screaming it all right into my own heart too..}

{YOU are beautiful no matter what.}
You my sweet friend, are a beauty. Your freckles, your eyes, your eye lashes, your mouth, your smile, your teeth; straight, crooked, with braces, with spaces, white or yellow.. are beautiful. Your eye brows; skinny, bushy, plucked, waxed, untouched... are beautiful. Your ears, your nose, your blemishes, your acne, everything on your face that your make-up hides.. is beautiful. Your height, your weight, your skin color, your toes, your fingers, your arms, your tummy, everything about YOU.. is beautiful. And are exactly how & where a very crafty Creator perfectly intended. Before time began God was sketching a picture of YOU & deciding where each freckle, birth mark, & mole would be on your body. Do not FOR ONE SECOND let ANYONE {your mom, sister, brother, dad, uncle, aunt, grandma, grandpa, friend, BEST friend, or the reflection in your mirror} tell you otherwise.

{YOU are worth more than YOU could ever imagine.}
Sister, do you know how much you're REALLY worth? Do you know that a King gave His WHOLE life for just YOU? Do you know that He saved YOU? Do you know YOU mean more than anything in the world to HIM? Did you know He chose YOU to be His? He wants YOU. Do you know YOU are desired by an all-knowing, all-loving, mysterious, wondrous God? Did you know YOU are written on HIS heart? Did you know YOU are worth more than any precious jewels, diamonds, or rubies to Him? Did you know He craves time with just YOU? Did you know He longs for YOU? Did you know HE wants what's best for YOU? Did you know He knows what YOUR heart needs? Did you know He is the author of YOUR story? This Man, is your Beloved & He is YOURS, YOU are His. If you let Him be. Even if you don't right now.. He'll be waiting patiently for YOU to come running into His arms. Even if you can't accept His love for YOU, you are STILL worth more than anyone or anything to HIM & that He'll always be there just for YOU. Sister, no man, husband, boyfriend, friend, anyone or anything.. can ever love you as much as He does.

{are YOU talking to God?}
Do you talk to our God? Like really, REALLY talk to Him? Do you talk to Him about the desires of your heart? Do you ask Him to do God-sized things in your life? Do you believe He can do God-sized things in your life? Do you get on your face before Him pleading for direction, guidance, or wisdom for your journey? Don't be scared, ashamed, embarrassed, or feeling unworthy when it comes to talking to God about the the biggest, craziest, or teeny-tiniest desires of your heart! He already knows ALL of them, and the desires of your heart ten years from now, and fifty years from now. He desires to hear all about it from YOU. Let Him know when you have a good, great, horrible, exciting, horrific, sad, or happy day. Let Him know when you're frustrated with Him, let go of your pride & let Him know you really don't have it all together & you NEED Him to hold your hand & guide YOU.

*{the future husband prayer.}
Story time, I remember sitting in my seventh grade English class (at a Christian school) with Mrs. Smith & her telling us about her & her husband. She told us that she had started praying for her husband when she was young, I guess it never really crossed my mind until she mentioned that, but I liked it & it caught my attention. Since then I've pretty much done the same. The prayer has changed a bit over the years but has stayed pretty constant: "God, I don't know who HE is, where HE is, or what HE's doing right now..." you get the gist of it right? I believe in a big God. I believe in a God who listens to His children when they call on Him. You talk, He listens, even if you're talking about someone you can only dream about right now. You can even use my prayer for Prince Charming if you want!

{hold high standards for YOURSELF}
As a twenty-one year old, college student, there are a whole lot of OTHER things I could be doing with my life right now that people my age, younger, or older are involved with. I could be a smoker, I could be an alcoholic, I could be sleeping with a different guy every weekend, I could be out all night making bad decisions & doing a lot of things I would regret later on. As a pretty sensitive person with an overly guilty conscience, I'm not anywhere near involved with any of that. I hold pretty high standards for myself & want to be a good example to YOU, to be someone YOU can look up to. I'M NOT PERFECT (by any stretch of the imagination), but I want to be there for YOU. I want to be here to encourage YOU. I want to be a voice in YOUR head to remind you that you DON'T have to do this or that to look "cool" or to "fit in", that it's OK to stand out & be different. As Christians we're supposed look different from the world, don't let the garbage of this world tempt YOU! Decide what you want people's view of you to look like. Do you want to be different? To look like a little Christ? I survived high school without going to homecoming, any house parties, prom, without drinking, doing drugs, or having sex, and I still had a very fun & pleasant high school experience that left me feeling blessed.

{If you're a female, YOU are captivating.}
The word captivate is a verb that simply means to hold the attraction of a noun (in this case, YOU as a woman, girl, lady, she, her, sister, daughter, all around female; are captivating to the male species.) You catch their attention, catch his attention the right way though. Be captivating by being who YOU are. Don't try to be someone or something you're not to catch his attention.. Sister you're captivating the way you are, being yourself. Don't be a chameleon. PLEASE, don't be. Don't change who you are to win the attention of a GUY! If that's the case.. then he is NOT worth your while. He should be interested in who YOU are, not who you pretend to be!

{survive high school/college without a boyfriend!?}
Crazy I know, but SISTER, I'm just going to say it, and you can argue with me about it if you want but dating in high school is a waste of time. *Any guy reading this can hear this too because it's the truth, I have two younger brothers, one in high school, guys in high school are not looking for a serious relationship, a wife, a soul-mate. You are not ready to get married or to be someone's wife. (dating in my book is for marriage, not a recreational sport, you & I can talk about this another time..) The chances of your high school relationship(s) lasting after graduation is slim to none. Have guy friends! Have fun with them! Hang out with them! Get to know them! Sister, graduate from high school, go to college, get a degree, travel, start a revolution, experience your late teen-twenties-days, AND if God brings a potential-God-fearing-handsome-man into your story in the midst of your college-travel-degree-getting-revolution-making-days, then let it be. I've done it, I'm doing it right now. I've survived. I am about as single as one can be, I've never had a boyfriend, I've never been in a relationship, and guess what? I have friends that are my age or younger that are married, engaged, or in serious relationships, & I'm still confused, learning, & trying to understand the whole male-species as a twenty-one year old. That's all I can say about this..

{YOU deserve nothing less than better, than the best.}
When/if a guy wanders into your life, he should respect you for who YOU are & the standards YOU hold for yourself. He should be encouraging & building you up, not discouraging you or tearing you down (physically, verbally, or emotionally). He should be friends with your friends. You deserve a guy who loves the Lord & likes to talk about what God is doing in both of your lives. You deserve a guy who challenges you spiritually & encourages you in your walk with God. He should be knowledgeable of the Bible. He should have a band of brothers who challenge him. He should have another guy in his life that challenges him spiritually & keeps him accountable. You also deserve a man who prays for you & with you. That's just some of what you deserve in a man. Don't settle for anything less or anything convenient.

{THEY need US to help them.}
As girls we like to look nice, we like to feel attractive, we like positive attention right? As daughters of the King, it's our responsibility to help our BROTHERS. What we wear, how we look, the way we move, the way we act, the things we say, can all alter how a guy views us. We're responsible for helping guard their purity & helping them by not being a stumbling block in their lives. There is a way to look nice & feel attractive without putting a negative light on ourselves as women. It builds character & helps us feel good about ourselves when we know we're not causing one of our brothers to stumble. And on the contrary.. I have no tolerance for MEN of any age talking disrespectfully about any girl, whether I know her or not. So let's save all of ourselves some trouble & protect our brothers eyes & help them to not have to talk in a demeaning way to us because of our appearance or how we carry ourselves, carry yourself like the Princess you are.

{Be productive in the waiting for Prince Charming..}
As women we long to be pursued. Our heart desires that special attention from a male, we like that special attention. While we wait for him to come into our stories we can't be wishing our lives away, we can't be sitting back & wallowing in self-pity because Prince Charming hasn't come along yet! We need to be spending time with our God. We need to be hanging out with our SISTERS. We need to be growing & learning things along the way & experiencing the life God has given to us. It's OK to be the wedding-dreaming-baby-name-list-making-sappy-Matt-Wertz-love-song-listening girl.. like myself, as long as you are growing in your relationship with God. Let Him show YOU what He wants for your story. Where He wants you to be. All of our stories are different. All of us experience life in different ways, just let God continue orchestrating it while you wait ever-so patiently for Prince Charming to sweep you off your feet. So when Prince Charming comes to sweep you off your feet, sweet sister of mine, your heart is so in tune with your FIRST LOVE's heart that He allows a new man in your life.. it will be a beautiful thing.


You made it. You read these words, do some soaking up, write some things down, process it however you chose fit, but I'd really like to hear from YOU sister. I don't give out my phone number very freely, but I have e-mail, facebook, & do enjoy sitting at coffee shops for chats.
{lefillmore@comcast.net --this goes to my phone or lindsayefillmore@gmail.com}

Intrigued..

{I love words. I love thesaurus'. I love the word intrigue: verb- arouse the curiosity or interest of; fascinate}

I'm intrigued by a lot of things, but one thing that has & probably will always intrigue me is, ballet. Ballerinas. Ballet slippers. Tutu's. Toe shoes. Pointe. Barres. Everything. I love it.

I really can't imagine myself as a ballerina right now just because I am the most inflexible person in the world & can not dance gracefully to save my life! I'm sure if I would have stayed in Miss Michelle's ballet class there could have been hope, but it's hard to imagine!


For a short (very short!) time in my childhood I took a ballet at Fifth Position Dance Center. Miss Michelle was my teacher, we danced across the room to old, classical, scratchy, music on vinyl, for our recital we wore bumble bee tutu's, my favorite two books growing up (maybe still are, don't tell anyone though) were/are "Nina, Nina Ballerina" & "Dance Tanya Dance", & one day if I have a daughter named Gloria Jean (or Norah Jones) of course, I want to enroll her in ballet class & live a ballerina life vicariously through her.


I don't know what it is about ballerinas or ballet in general that I love, but it simply intrigues me & makes me smile. It's graceful, elegant, & lovely. It was a highlight of my winter last year to see the Nutcracker with my Babes... someday I will go see more live ballet!


Even if I'm not a ballerina, I still like to watch them move gracefully across a stage, look at pictures of them, & imitate their elegance.

{check out the ballet project..}

pieces to the puzzle..

There is this quote I saw somewhere one time by VanGogh that says, “Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together”. That’s how my God works. I feel like a lot of things in our lives {big or small} do not occur because of impulse, but by a series of small things God does in our lives.

Looking back in my life, seasons I’ve gone through, valleys I’ve been in, people I’ve met, people who were a big part of my life & aren’t anymore, experiences I’ve had, little details that I can pin point, all leading to something great in my life that God has blessed me with.

Just recently I thought I had all my ducks in a row with a couple new job opportunities. My God was for sure making all these pieces fit together perfectly for me, or so I thought! Then the last piece didn’t fit.

It was definitely a let down & made me frustrated, but I’m still looking & waiting for that last piece {patiently}.. I know my God is faithful & will bring the last piece when the time is right… …It’s frustrating, but I’m learning to keep my eyes open for pieces to the puzzle that are shaping my life right now, that are from God {what I like to call “a-God-thing”}. Collecting the pieces & holding onto them, so I can look back & see each piece taking it’s place.

Sometimes the puzzle has a lot of pieces & takes a long time to start seeing the actual picture, but other times there are puzzles that only have a few pieces & we can see the picture quickly!

Our whole life we have been and will always be putting new puzzles together but no matter how long or short the puzzle takes to take form, it’s not hard to see God’s apparent hand in each piece..

alskdfj...

CAN I RAMBLE FOR A SECOND..OR TWO?

OF COURSE I CAN..SO HERE I GO.

IF YOU COULD ONLY UNDERSTAND THE AWE & MARVEL I HAVE BEEN IN OF MY GOD THE PAST FEW DAYS.

HONESTLY, MORE THAN ever. EVER. REALLY. HE IS JUST REVEALING SO MUCH TO ME & TEACHING ME SO MUCH RIGHT NOW, IT’S LEAVING ME AT A LOSS FOR WORDS.

{it’s not like I didn’t recognize His greatness, wonder, & mystery before, but it’s slapping me in the face these past few days!}

THE MONTH OF OCTOBER HAS BEEN KIND OF A ROLLER COASTER OF EMOTIONS, TOO MANY BUILT UP EXPECTATIONS, GOOD, BAD, UGLY, UPS & DOWNS, BROKENNESS, HURT, HAPPINESS, JOY.. AND EVERYTHING ELSE.

AND WHEN USUALLY MY HEART JUST GOES THROUGH THE MOTIONS & IN A WAY “COPES” WITH {whatever IT is} IN A WAY, MY GOD IS SHOWING ME THAT THESE THINGS HAPPEN.

THINGS COME & GO, BROKENNESS IS REAL, HURT IS REAL, BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL. FAITHFUL. FAITHFUL.

SO HE IS FAITHFUL, I KNOW THIS, BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT I LIVE IN AN IMPERFECT WORLD. BROKENNESS, HURT, LET DOWNS, & EVERYTHING ELSE HAPPEN AS A RESULT. THIS WORLD WILL ALWAYS LET ME DOWN.

IT’S THROUGH & IN THESE SEASONS OR VALLEY’S THAT HE IS PULLING US {ME} CLOSER TO HIM. EVEN WHEN I FEEL HOPELESS, BROKEN, PAIN, OR DESPAIR, AND TRY TO COVER IT UP WITH FALSE HOPE, OR A FAKE SMILE, HE IS WORKING TO SHOW HIMSELF TO ME & SHOW ME HIS GLORY, HIS HOPE, & HOW MUCH I NEED HIM.

SHOWING ME HOW LITTLE I AM & HOW GREAT HE IS.

SHOWING ME HOW I CAN PLAN ALL I WANT BUT HE ALREADY HAS MY LIFE MAPPED OUT. RIGHT WHEN I HAVE “ALL MY DUCKS IN A ROW” HE COMES & REARRANGES THINGS.

I CAN HOPE IN THIS OR THAT, BUT ONLY HE REMAINS.

HE’S THE PROVIDER.

HE'S THE HEALER.

HE’S THE ONLY ONE/THING THAT CAN FILL MY EMPTINESS.

HE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN RESTORE.

HE’S THE ONE I’M IN SERIOUS AWE OF.

FROM HIM & THROUGH HIM & TO HIM ARE ALL THINGS. TO HIM BE THE GLROY. FOREVER.

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL, CREATIVE, GRACIOUS, LOVING, MYSTERIOUS GOD HE IS.

LEAVES ME SPEECHLESS & IN WONDER & AMAZEMENT THAT I CAN’T WRAP MY MIND AROUND…

{who knows if any of this makes sense or if it’s just a bunch of words thrown together, but i don’t care, all I know is my God is moving & leaving me excited & wondering at His mystery.}

autumn fallin' from trees...

look what I found today... love love love.

{photo credit: the twin}

step by step..

IN HER HEART

A WOMAN PLANS
HER COURSE,
BUT THE LORD
DETERMINES
HER STEPS.
{proverbs sixteen:nine}

...two years of wanting to teach kindergarten to cute five year olds, I'm not feelin' it anymore, psychology is calling my name. Right when I "thought" I had everything all planned with finishing school to teach, God reminds me it's not up to me & I just have to plan as best I can with where He has me & He'll take care of the rest, even if that means changing majors half way through.

sowing the seeds of life...

{This is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and providence flow, I know I'm filled to be emptied again, the seed I've received I will sow.}

*God, no matter how long a seed in my life takes to harvest, help to know YOU are right there with me in the season of waiting, growing, & watching. Help me to weed out the bad, ugly, & negative that isn't of You. God give me more than enough patience & perseverance when I feel like I can't wait any longer or go on & help reap only things that will glorify YOU so that when the harvest is done the end result will be a beautiful flower (whatever it is)...

...It's just another way that God amazes me with His timing & how He knows what my heart needs when it needs it. My heart needed to hear this tonight. To know that He is with me in these different seasons of life & that all these things in my life (seeds) that I've been given to sow I learned tonight I need to let go of & with faith believe that God will fertilize, water, & help grow that little seed no matter how big or how small, or how little or long it takes, that in His *perfect timing* it will become a beautiful flower in a future season of life.

"...But the one who plants in response to God, letting God's Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life."
-- galatians six:eight (the message)

Thank you C.S. Lewis...

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can't understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right & stopping the leaks in the roof & so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing & so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably & does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of -- throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards.
You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come & live in it Himself."
--C.S. Lewis

{This is just what I needed these past few weeks. As much as I want control & say over what remodeling, rebuilding, & change God has planned for the "house" I live in, He has been showing me over & over again these past few weeks, that it's not up to me.

He is the one doing all the remodeling, rebuilding, & change in my life. Even though I don't know what remodeling, rebuilding, & change He is up to in my "house" right now, I'm slowly, but surely working on letting go of the expectations & control I think I have over these renovations in the "house" called l i f e... it's scary & nerve-racking, but freeing, peaceful, & comforting all at the same time to know our Creator is transforming us day by day from the inside out for His glory...}

second corinthians {four : sixteen-eighteen}

Sweet springtime..

I'm currently sitting by the window at Caribou in downtown Royal Oak...I wish I could get paid to people watch, because I could do it all day, St. Patrick's Day makes for some interesting sights.

Anyway, the sun is shinning, I'm wearing flats & a t-shirt (no coat, jacket, or sweater.), & I'm drinking an iced tea latte. Glorious.

Today I completed my "Spring" Playlist... the main criteria for any of these songs was that they were fun-roll-the-windows-down-listen-to-over-and-over-again-get-ready-for-summer type songs...here is what I've been listening to:

1. You're My Favorite, Joy Williams
2. 1901, Phoenix
3. Giving Up the Gun, Vampire Weekend
4. Sushi, Kyle Andrews
5. Sweet Disposition, The Temper Trap
6. Audience, Cold War Kids
7. New Heights, A Fine Frenzy
8. In the Sun, She & Him
9. Walking On a Dream, Empire of the Sun
10. You Get What You Give, New Radicals

{My sister took this picture at a wedding show this weekend, creative & springy}

"If eyes were made for seeing..."

When I was in high school I dreaded English class because it meant having to read a book I wasn't interested in or dissecting sentences, I've become more fond of writing & English classes since then. But my all time favorite English class in high school was with Dr. Matt Watson, he made me interested in English because he knew what he was talking about unlike several English teachers I had in high school.

In his class I read the only book I enjoyed in HS, The Great Gatsby, because he analysied it in a way to keep my attention & made me think about the symbolisim and what Fitzgerald meant by adding certain things to the book.

In Watson's class we also had a huge section on Ralph Waldo Emerson & Walt Whitman and they're the only ones that really still stick out to me because they intrigued me & we watched The Dead Poet's Society & I think Dr. Watson did a pretty good job emulating Robin Williams character with his teaching styles.

But I was at the DIA for the first time in my life yesterday (I'm embarrassed though because I do love art & have lived in Detoirt for 20 years...but there's a first for everything) and I saw this quote above some artwork & fell in love with it & reminded me of how everyone should experience an English class with a Dr. Watson or a John Keating...

move, worship, psalm..

This past weekend myself along with close to 450 other students & leaders went to WSM's fourth "Winter Experience". God definitely MOVE(d) in mysterious ways the whole weekend. [through our speaker, through the worship, through brothers & sisters in Christ coming together to pray... etc.] It was evident from the first night of being there that God was there & that He was ready to do great things throughout the collective of students & leaders from all the Woodside campuses and both high school & middle school.

On Saturday night we had an extended worship time that I stayed at with some of my girls & I can honestly say that I have never experienced God in such a way. I wasn't really standing around that many people, and really just kept my eyes closed for a good majority of time just to keep focused on worshiping my Creator through music, and I could just feel His presence all around me & knew that He was there with me.

(photo credit:: courtney fillmore)

. . .

I feel like the Lord has been trying to show me patience lately. For him to show me what it looks like to wait for him. For him to reveal his plan for me day by day. For me to stop planning, what I think is best for me and just let him take over.

I know he already has every chapter in the "Book of Lindsay" already written, so why can't I just sit back & enjoy being a character in His story..? Lack of patience & wanting to be the one in control? Yes.

...be still before the LORD & wait patiently for Him. {pslam thirty-seve : three through seven}

worship + outside + night...

there is something about secretly gathering, being outside, in the darkness & quietness of night, to worship God, that is a beautiful thing.

there is something about a single guitar & voices lifting up praises to the Creator, that is a beautiful thing.

there is something about sisters & brothers in Christ coming close to ask God for pece, joy, & comfort that only God can supply, for a hurting brother in Christ, that is a beautiful thing.

there is something about silently talking to God, by candle light, that is a beautiful thing.

there is something about God being felt near in the middle of the night, that is a beautiful thing.

there is something about being His and knowing that He is mine, that is a beautiful thing.

By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.
Psalm 42:8

*forty...

*so i got my macbook yesterday! so exciting! so i am sitting here typing away on it!!! anyway that is besides the point of what i was going to write about.....

40 started on sunday at nine. and since then i have heard nothing but amazing things about it. i was bummed at the beginning of the week though because i signed up for my prayer hours late, so i only got a few towards the end of it, but today emily had some time so she said court & i could come with her! 

it was so overwhelming. just walking in just takes your breath away because you see prayers, praises, desires, and worship written on the black walls in silver marker from floor to ceiling, there is a world map with pins in areas that have been are being prayed for, there is an area for people to express themselves and their hearts on paper with water colors and colored pencils, there is a cross in the back corner with candles around where we laid before it and prayed, there is an area to sit in the middle of it all where emily, courtney, and i shared our hearts and tears with each other and the Lord, being able to pray out loud and for so long with them was such a blessing.

towards the end of everyones hour in the prayer room, you are to read a selected passage from the Bible out loud, since sunday the group as a collective has gotten up to Numbers 22, well that was since three this afternoon, but someone is in there at the moment that will read more or the Bible out loud continuing up until the last hour when the whole Bible will have been read out loud, i think that is one of my favorite parts of the room, there are large margins on the sides so people can write their personal notes and input on the scripture that they read. 

whew. ok that was really long, but i just had to share about it because it was such an awesome opportunity to be a part of and i have some more time in the next month so im pretty excited about it. another highlight of it was when emily, court, and i blasted the song "how he loves us" and sang it at the top of our lungs in worship to our amazing Creator that was so apparent in that room. 

in the last five minutes we were in there we played the song "i will go" by the desperation band and went to the part that they recite the passage from isaiah "here i am Lord, send me, send me" which is kind of one of the main points around 40 as a whole. i just wish that everyone everywhere could experience their own 40. 40 days & 960 hours of continuous prayer, service, worship, and fasting.... 
*isaiah 6:1-8

*GOD's l o v e for us....

*although none of us deserve it, God our Father, Creator, and Friend...LOVES us more than we could ever know. but so easily we take His love for us for granted, but He still is standing there calling us back to Him, wanting us to fall in love with Him..more and more everyday, to grow closer to Him, to know Him more, to strive to live like Him more.

"This is how we know what love is:
Jesus Christ laid down his life for us."
[1 John 3:16]

"The Lord your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
[Zephaniah 3:17]