fill in the blank...

1. I started my blog because.. I enjoy writing & spewing things out of my head onto word document & posting fun things!!

2. One thing I love seeing on other blogs.. pictures, cute outfits, & love stories!!

3. Something I love about blogging.. I get to share it with people vs. my journal which is just for my eyes!! :)

4. A favorite blog post of mine is probably.. a coffee conversation-esque blog I wrote to all females, including myself!! {you can read it here}

5. Something my friends in real life know about me that I've never before mentioned on my blog.. that I can be rather sassy sometimes.. :(

6. My new favorite blogs to read are .. Along the Way.., lowercase letters, & chalk with arrow!!

7. Some things I tend to avoid doing on my blog are.. over-posting in general!!

{linked from the little things we do!!}

twenty-twelve

this is a lame, first blog for twenty-twelve..but i promise i will write something in here soon.

thankfully this semester is a little less crammed as last semester.

thus.. free friday's + a tiny bit more free time.. a tiny bit.

all in all life is still crazy & not slowing down.

*in other news, i got to be a part of 45,000 other people at #passion2012.. soo

n, soon, soon, i will write about it.

new favorite quote..

"yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift"
{eleanor roosevelt}

new favorite quote.. I'm still working on my meaty blog. *fyi I keep a blog mostly for myself, but also to try to encourage people through it. soon, soon, soon... until then I will try to finish this week of school without pulling all my hair out.

{the fillmore girls.}

ten at ten..

it's august!?

ten things about this {almost over} summer of eleven::

one) twin has been home for a while & it feels like she never even left!
two) my friend became a mrs. & I had fun being a part of her special day!
three) bike rides + a cute basket
four) hot hot heat + tan skin
five) loving on my babies + creating everything under the sun with construction paper
six) learning lots about relationships with people + my relationship with God.
seven) I crossed something off of my list of 30 things to do before I'm 30: #20
eight) fireworks on a rooftop + in a park.
nine) a lot of romans twelve.
ten) a week in nashville: old friends, new friends, seeing God through three sweet little boys, hot & sweaty & getting hands dirty, a homeless man asked me to marry him, sweet little cousins, long bus rides.

HE will not delay..

This past week seems like it's been dragging on more than usual? I don't know why, but it was just kind of a horrible week with school, my car, just feeling really negative & blue, & missing my sister(s). But it was such a rich weekend with the 400-some people I got to experience God with, so that should have left me in a really good mood all week!

I definitely think it was the Devil trying to seep his way into my heart for sure. Just every morning this week was awful & leaving me in a bad, nasty mood, instead of making the best out of the worst or rejoicing & being glad. BUT low and behold my Lisa came in & saved the day(s) with a pep-talk/reminder/encouragement that made me remember I was trying to finish these thoughts LAST week, but forgot about them..

So my mom is full of a lot of wisdom & good-solid-advice.. which I am SO thankful for, I hope if I have a daughter someday, I can pour as much wisdom & good advice into her as my mom always has into me!! BUT all that to say ONE of the good things she ALWAYS reminds me of is the only three ways God answer's prayer requests, no matter how big or small: Yes. No. Wait.

{At Lighthouse two weeks ago Cliff talked about Habakkuk & how he was waiting on an answer from God & I read these verses over the weekend on our retreat..so I had to finish writing about it!!}

US: How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
GOD: Look at the nations and watch— and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.

{For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come
and will not delay!!!!!!!!!!!}

So we get on our knees before God, asking him for this or that {you fill in the blank}. Waiting for God to answer our pleads. Obviously we wouldn't mind if God answered everything we prayed about with a YES or in the way WE want them to be answered... but there are times when we have to reluctantly be content with a no or a not yet.

Those are the seasons that might seem like a valley or leave us angry with why God isn't answering our prayer the way WE want Him to. Or these seasons of "no" or "wait" can be used to grow closer to the Him...

If it's not time for something to happen in our story yet, then God is still paving the way for something great coming our way. If it's not time for something to happen in our story yet, maybe God is using that time to bring us closer to Him. If it's not time for something to happen in our story yet, we need to keep our eyes & heart open for the little things, all leading to the end result our God has for us.

When God says "no" to something as much as it hurts to swallow that {especially if it's something we were SO sure about} and as hard as it is to accept a straight up NO, maybe not right then, but eventually you'll start to see exactly why God said no to something or didn't make something happen in the way WE wanted it to. We start to pray harder, or more frequently, trying to fight the NO. Trying to change God's mind somehow. When that happens to me, I'm so sure of something and then it doesn't turn out the way I wanted it to, I can always see later on that it was really a blessing that God had a different plan for me rather than giving me what I thought I needed. We serve a gracious God, who wants & desires the BEST for us, He knows what we need, WHEN we need it. He doesn't delay.

{another thing my mom always tells me is if God doesn't answer our prayers in a way we wanted Him to or the way we thought He was going to (a NO or a WAIT) that He has something ELSE, something BETTER waiting for us...that He's still preparing us for!!}

Then there's the times when God gives us what we've been praying for. A yes. He answers a prayer {big or small} with a YES. A go ahead. A it's time. He doesn't delay. He knows we're ready for something, He knows it's time for this or that. What!? It's exciting & scary at the same time. Too good to be true. Blessing. Joy. Happiness. Undeserving. It's almost like this answer is more work than a "wait" or a "no" because it's a constant, day to day surrender to the One who blessed us with our YES. Giving up whatever it is He's blessed us with & remembering none of it's ours.

{in other news totally unrelated, it needs to be s p r i n g already.}

christmasy faves..

I love Christmas! I love autumn time, but I think I love Christmas more.. so here are just some of the things I love about the season!


1. Christmas cookies.. I think I like baking them more than eating them though, which is good right!?
2. Giving Christmas gifts, especially if it's something someone really wanted!
3. Advent Songs by Sojourn.
4. Santa. I still & always will get gifts from "Santa" on Christmas morning.
5. It's A Wonderful Life.
6. Christmas lights.
7. Peppermint Mocha's.
8. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
9. Being with the whole Fillmore clan.
10. Snowmen.

+ I love that the last two Christmas' I've had a get-together with all these lovelies...and the tradition continues net week!!

the cliché thanksgiving blog..

I didn't want to do it, but it has to happen; the cliché thanksgiving blog..

First of all, it doesn't feel like Thanksgiving.. it definitely crept up on me, I don't know where November went + it's not as cold as Michigan typically is right now.

{side note: I feel like autumn is over right after Thanksgiving because the world is consumed by everything Christmas once it's over... even though it technically isn't winter until December 21st, so it makes me kind of sad that now I have to get ready for a long winter.}

Thanksgiving since I can remember in the Fillmore house {when we stay home} involves a lot of cooking, watching the parade, the whole clan under one roof, just spending time together, eating a lot, & the day typically ends with a lot of sweatshirts, pajamas, & being cozy while watching It's A Wonderful Life. It just makes me smile, happy, & feeling blessed.
So here are just some of the things I'm thankful for right now:my big family: mom & dad Fillmore, the sisters, & the brothers {my life would be so boring without them} + friends that I can talk about God with, what He's doing in our lives, & encourage each other + being a part of a church body that's alive & thriving to increase the Kingdom + second, third, fourth, hundredth chances.. how did I get so lucky & why has God blessed me so much?

{psalm one-hundred}

*I randomly saw Brandon Flowers last night {for FREE!} & can't stop listening to his song {Only the Young}, the video for it is pretty great.

still not wanting to grow up, still wanting to go to paris, + cute things from poppytalk...

So I have a whole slew of random blogs I like to keep up with, one of them being: {poppytalk}, it's loaded with a lot of cute things + inspires me to be more creative.
just some of the cuteness I've accumulated from poppytalk are these photos this woman sells on etsy that are my new favorites, they remind me of my photo class in high school, we did something like this where we developed some prints with text on top of our photos, so this one intriuged me + the quote is from peter pan!
"forget them, wendy. forget them all. come with me where you'll never, never, have to worry about grown up things again."
{if only it were that easy peter..}
...and I have a serious infatuation with the city of Paris + the Eiffel Tower {...and I plan going there someday}, so I fell in love with more picture from this woman's etsy shop.
...and just some more cute things I found on poppytalk was this cute & creative fireplace, just one reason I need to live in an 1800's style house someday with great crown molding around a fireplace.
...and my fave passage of the Bible {ecclesiastes three} was mentioned on Sunday at Lighthouse & made me re-read it again for the thousandth time & soak it up that there's a time & season for everything. truth. truth. truth.

...and it's kind of making me sad that all the fall leaves have fallen & have been raked up & the trees are naked, leaving the midwestern scenery very bland, gray, & depressing, until it's nighttime & you can see Christmas lights.

...also I think I'm jumping the gun a little but I'm keeping the National in my memory bank for my winter playlist, they just sound like winter time. I've had Slow Show on repeat today..and I wouldn't mind learning how to play England on the piano.

oh Jónsi...

I forgot to add this into my "insignificant blog post", then I realized it's not actually insignificant... well to me anyway!

I saw Jónsi last week. I'm not a hardcore "Yo-n-zee" fan, but I do enjoy his relaxing, creative, artistic, harmony creations along with his band Sigur Rós'. He's crazy, but brilliant at the same time.

{can I share that I spent an entire semester in a piano class during my senior year of high school teaching myself how to play a song from Sigur Rós called Hoppipolla. Watching YouTube video clips, using sheet music, figuring out how to stretch my fingers so far.. it's still one of the only songs I can play on the piano..}

Anyway, the whole evening was an event in itself {music aside}, but I have only ever heard good things about his shows & how they leave you blown away. So I had pretty high expectations.

It was more than I expected. It was unlike any musical experience I've ever had. I really do enjoy music a lot more when I hear it live. I appreciate it more, especially if it's done well.

I appreciate Jónsi more now. The creativity, was beyond me. The backdrops. The music. I've heard that it's like a spiritual experience, I can see that. There were times I wanted to just close my eyes & soak it all in, but I didn't want to miss what was going on.

It was seriously a beautiful portrayal of musical & artistic creativity. I suggest you see him live, if you'd like to experience music in a way you've never experienced before.

{photo credit: Phil Southern}

there is no significance..

+I almost didn't post this just because it holds no significance whatsoever, especially compared to the last blog I posted on here..BUT regardless can I vent for a second? I love Christmas, I love decorations, I love the hustle & bustle, I love the Christmas drinks from Starbucks, I love their red-holiday cups. Do me a favor if you work at Starbucks & don't put my Christmas drink in a regular cup. It's such a let down, the Peppermint Mocha just doesn't taste the same coming out of a regular cup..


+In other news, I started a new job. I needed to be with people. Not babies, toddlers, or kids. I love them, but I needed to find a job where I could have a conversation about something other than my favorite color or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, that doesn't involve; potty-training, sticky fingers, playing with Play-Doh, cranky four-year olds, or making grilled cheese. I had been looking for a new job since September & had several very-hopeful interviews & filled out applications for a whole variety of jobs, but none of them worked out.


+But within a week of applying to Banana Republic I had two interviews & was hired! I'm now an employee at a store I've never shopped at, am intimidated by, at a mall I despise, & at the last place I ever imagined I'd work at, but I'm excited about it. I haven't been employed by a company for the last three years & never for such a huge corporation, such as Gap Inc., so I have already learned a lot & have a lot more to learn, but it's good + I don't mind having to dress up for work, instead of just rolling out of bed, putting a hat on & a pair of jeans that I don't mind getting dirty, & I'm a fan of a 50% discount.

Intrigued..

{I love words. I love thesaurus'. I love the word intrigue: verb- arouse the curiosity or interest of; fascinate}

I'm intrigued by a lot of things, but one thing that has & probably will always intrigue me is, ballet. Ballerinas. Ballet slippers. Tutu's. Toe shoes. Pointe. Barres. Everything. I love it.

I really can't imagine myself as a ballerina right now just because I am the most inflexible person in the world & can not dance gracefully to save my life! I'm sure if I would have stayed in Miss Michelle's ballet class there could have been hope, but it's hard to imagine!


For a short (very short!) time in my childhood I took a ballet at Fifth Position Dance Center. Miss Michelle was my teacher, we danced across the room to old, classical, scratchy, music on vinyl, for our recital we wore bumble bee tutu's, my favorite two books growing up (maybe still are, don't tell anyone though) were/are "Nina, Nina Ballerina" & "Dance Tanya Dance", & one day if I have a daughter named Gloria Jean (or Norah Jones) of course, I want to enroll her in ballet class & live a ballerina life vicariously through her.


I don't know what it is about ballerinas or ballet in general that I love, but it simply intrigues me & makes me smile. It's graceful, elegant, & lovely. It was a highlight of my winter last year to see the Nutcracker with my Babes... someday I will go see more live ballet!


Even if I'm not a ballerina, I still like to watch them move gracefully across a stage, look at pictures of them, & imitate their elegance.

{check out the ballet project..}

I'm back...

I gave the tumlr. world a whirl... it has it's pros & cons, but I think I like blogger better. I will probably just post pictures & music on there, it's just easier to write on here..

alskdfj...

CAN I RAMBLE FOR A SECOND..OR TWO?

OF COURSE I CAN..SO HERE I GO.

IF YOU COULD ONLY UNDERSTAND THE AWE & MARVEL I HAVE BEEN IN OF MY GOD THE PAST FEW DAYS.

HONESTLY, MORE THAN ever. EVER. REALLY. HE IS JUST REVEALING SO MUCH TO ME & TEACHING ME SO MUCH RIGHT NOW, IT’S LEAVING ME AT A LOSS FOR WORDS.

{it’s not like I didn’t recognize His greatness, wonder, & mystery before, but it’s slapping me in the face these past few days!}

THE MONTH OF OCTOBER HAS BEEN KIND OF A ROLLER COASTER OF EMOTIONS, TOO MANY BUILT UP EXPECTATIONS, GOOD, BAD, UGLY, UPS & DOWNS, BROKENNESS, HURT, HAPPINESS, JOY.. AND EVERYTHING ELSE.

AND WHEN USUALLY MY HEART JUST GOES THROUGH THE MOTIONS & IN A WAY “COPES” WITH {whatever IT is} IN A WAY, MY GOD IS SHOWING ME THAT THESE THINGS HAPPEN.

THINGS COME & GO, BROKENNESS IS REAL, HURT IS REAL, BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL. FAITHFUL. FAITHFUL.

SO HE IS FAITHFUL, I KNOW THIS, BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT I LIVE IN AN IMPERFECT WORLD. BROKENNESS, HURT, LET DOWNS, & EVERYTHING ELSE HAPPEN AS A RESULT. THIS WORLD WILL ALWAYS LET ME DOWN.

IT’S THROUGH & IN THESE SEASONS OR VALLEY’S THAT HE IS PULLING US {ME} CLOSER TO HIM. EVEN WHEN I FEEL HOPELESS, BROKEN, PAIN, OR DESPAIR, AND TRY TO COVER IT UP WITH FALSE HOPE, OR A FAKE SMILE, HE IS WORKING TO SHOW HIMSELF TO ME & SHOW ME HIS GLORY, HIS HOPE, & HOW MUCH I NEED HIM.

SHOWING ME HOW LITTLE I AM & HOW GREAT HE IS.

SHOWING ME HOW I CAN PLAN ALL I WANT BUT HE ALREADY HAS MY LIFE MAPPED OUT. RIGHT WHEN I HAVE “ALL MY DUCKS IN A ROW” HE COMES & REARRANGES THINGS.

I CAN HOPE IN THIS OR THAT, BUT ONLY HE REMAINS.

HE’S THE PROVIDER.

HE'S THE HEALER.

HE’S THE ONLY ONE/THING THAT CAN FILL MY EMPTINESS.

HE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN RESTORE.

HE’S THE ONE I’M IN SERIOUS AWE OF.

FROM HIM & THROUGH HIM & TO HIM ARE ALL THINGS. TO HIM BE THE GLROY. FOREVER.

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL, CREATIVE, GRACIOUS, LOVING, MYSTERIOUS GOD HE IS.

LEAVES ME SPEECHLESS & IN WONDER & AMAZEMENT THAT I CAN’T WRAP MY MIND AROUND…

{who knows if any of this makes sense or if it’s just a bunch of words thrown together, but i don’t care, all I know is my God is moving & leaving me excited & wondering at His mystery.}

autumn tunes..

Happy first day of fall, harvest, autumn friends... this is a very fall-esque play list for your ears to enjoy, or at least for my ears to enjoy for the next few months of crisp weather, earth tones, apples, pumpkin spice latte's, & falling leaves...

{these songs aren't necessarily "new" songs, but definitely worthy of being listened to on a crisp-fall day while sipping a pumpkin spice latte on your way to the apple orchard..and I started with just ten songs, then added a few more & had an OCD moment & couldn't leave the list at 13 or 17.. so 20 it is.}

1. On My Way Back Home, Band of Horses
2. Lay Down In Your Fields, Griffin House
3. I Have Nothing, Noah & the Whale
4. Wide Eyes, Local Natives
5. Don't I Hold You, Wheat
6. Electrocution & Laughter, Jeremy Lister
7. Young Friend, Brooke Waggoner
8. Comin' Home, CIty & Colour
9. Last Time, Paper Route
10. Your Side Now, Trent Dabbs
11. Deciphering Me, Brooke Fraser
12. The World at Large, Modest Mouse
13. Elements, A Fine Frenzy
14. Let's Go, Madi Diaz
15. Your Ghost, Greg Laswell
16. Decisions, How to Dress Well
17. Your Protector, Fleet Foxes
18. Blood Bank, Bon Iver
19. Reach, Andrew Belle
20. Go Do, Jónsi
*enjoy..

{artwork: Samantha Rose}

playing grown up...

Recently I remembered the slogan for Toys R Us that says: "I don't want to grow up, I want to be a Toys R Us kid!"

This week more than ever, time & time again I've had that feeling. I don't want to grow up. A few weeks ago I turned 21 & when I was younger 20+ sounded SO old! I don't feel that old, even though I have some "grown up" responsibilities that I have to deal with in this season of my life, I'm still young.

Sometimes I try to pretend to be a girl version of Peter Pan & that my bank account will just put money in on its own, my diabetic related stuff would deal with themselves, my car would fix itself, or my college credits would turn into a degree with recess & snack time... then I open my eyes & that's not the case! Being somewhat "grown up" means I need a job to support myself, I need to take care of my medical stuff, I need to go to school to get a degree, to get a better job...etc.
So now I'm just finishing one of my favorite Disney movies: Beauty & the Beast. And it's reminding me of rainy afternoons with my sisters in the family room of our childhood home, with thick, dark, blue carpet, watching Beauty & the Beast, & eating granola bars. Those were the days. I have very fond childhood memories & remember wanting to "be a grown up", so here I am starting my adult life & longing for my childhood: the easy, play dates, stress free, pretend, playhouse days.
BUT on the contrary there are days I feel like a "real adult" {whatever that really entails} when I have to take care of important things, pay my insurance bills, fill out paper work, get up early on my day off to cross things off my list, be responsible, whatever it is, is when I feel like I'm "playing grown-up", {check out Brooke's blog about playing grown up!!} because I'm not 100% independent. I live back at my parents house, I'm not married like my mom was when she was 21, I don't own a home, pay taxes, have to grocery shop (anymore..), I have it pretty easy {in the grand scheme of things, even though sometimes it doesn't feel like that!}, therefore I feel like I'm just pretending.
Someday, perhaps I'll feel like a true "grown up", until then I'll just finish watching Beauty & the Beast & sleep in tomorrow morning..

Right this second...

I'm wearing:
...these pants that I forgot I had, they seriously might be the most comfortable pants I've ever worn. They're light weight, kind of baggy, & cozy.. I'm in love.

It feels:
...like it should be later than 11:00.

I'm enjoying:
...laying on my parents couch watching Elizabethtown with my twin & mom. I think I've seen this movie more than any other movie in the whole world. I don't know what it is about it. I love it & could watch it over & over again..
{my family went down to Nashville last November.. we drove through Elizabethtown, KY on our way home.. :)}

I wish this weekend I was:
...going on one of Claire's cross-country road trips.

I'm a little ashamed:
...of how attached I am to this new friend I acquired last weekend... her name is BlackBerry.

I'm thinking about:
...how excited I am to go to yoga & hang out with my sisters tomorrow night in the city of Detroit.

I'm still:
...getting used to living back at my parents house.. missing the sound of the train at night

I'm still wondering & curious about:
...this next season of my life that is unfolding in front of me..

I'm wishing:
...I was counting down to a vacation to a private island somewhere & no agenda, or at least ...another long weekend at the St. Regis in Orange County,

I'm dreaming of:
...fall, crunchy leaves, cider mills, apple orchards, & earth tones.

I'm still soaking up:
...habakkuk one.

I'm thinking about how I need to:
...buy some lawn tickets to see my boys Ray&Gray.

I'm smiling about:
...my adventure with 100+ students/leaders to Detroit starting on Sunday.

I'm a little sad about:
...not visiting Lake Ann Camp for the first time in TEN years this summer.

I'm remembering:
...the sweet little faces that I met last summer in West Viginia!

I should be:
...sleeping.

the near perfect afternoon...

its raining.
its thundering.
its lightning.
its windy outside.
its dark outside.
a mix of brooke waggoner, band of horses, fleet foxes, & noah and the whale is playing.
the little ladies are playing dress up together nicely.
the lazy dog is laying by the front door.
and a few lamps are on to light the rooms.
this is my ideal afternoon in a nutshell...
some hot coffee, a book or a movie, & cozy clothes might make it a tad better, but this will do.

I'm a fan.

random rambles...

mid july. staying up late. frustrating. love. weddings. heat. sprinklers. panted nails. dancing. bare feet. rain. closer. joy. bath. dreams. sisters. tan skin. detroit. driving. no AC. tears. the moon. thunder. imagination. friends. guitar. dresses. popsicle. stressful. laughing. worship. sleepy. journal. humidity. annoyed. little ladies. flowers. brothers. unexpected. movies. the beach. flooded living room. broken phone. talk to God. dairy queen. late night chats. 6am. strange neighbors. creativity. excitement.

smile... it's the w e e k n d

It's just one of those really good days. The sun is shining, I got to sleep in this morning, I'm hanging out with the girls tonight, it's the weekend, I'm watching two of my favorite little boys tomorrow for the afternoon, Lighthouse starts again this Sunday, God's still teaching me about His timing, how to stop & listen for Him, let my words be few & how He sends us little signs throughout our day that reminds us He's with us.. it makes me smile.

All of that PLUS I've been on new music overload for the past few weeks & just got around to listening to the new Ten Out Of Tenn compilation called "We Are All In This Together". It came out a few weeks ago to help raise money for the flood relief in Nashville.

It's pretty great... it makes my heart love the city of Nashville & all the music that comes out of it so much more.
{some of the lyrics from the songs on here...drive me crazy, so I thought I'd share them with you...}

"...moving inch by inch, we're getting close to the edge, there's no other place to go so lets jump, lets fall together now, and we'll never have to touch the ground.."
--let's jump, joy williams

"nothing goes as planned, everything will break, people say goodbye in their own special way...you're in my veins and I cannot get you out, you're all I taste at night in my mouth, you run away because I am not where you found..."
--in my veins, andrew belle

"...I wonder what has happened to this dream, just say you'll stay and play a song for me..."
--one light wondering, trent dabbs

"...like poets and prophets who can't find the words, so they stare, and all that made sense has somehow turned to skew, I missed my chance with you..."
--missed my chance, griffin house

. . . . . . .

{God is in heaven & you are on earth, so let your words be few..}...ecclesiastes five:two

The good, the bad, & the ugly...

The good...
Coming into the month of April, I was prepared for one of the craziest months of my life, just with school, work, & a million other things I had to get done before the month was over, when I could go to California & be done with school!

So once April hit, it felt like it was going too good to be true. School was going good, I was getting everything done, Good Friday & Easter were awesome times of worship, I was spending a lot of time with friends, I was seeing God in new ways, enjoying live music & the city of Detroit, the weather was just ridiculous... all around the first two weeks of April were lovely & I had no complaints!

The bad...
Yesterday (Monday) I definitely woke up on the WRONG side of the bed, because every little thing was making me annoyed & in a bad mood. Starting with my yoga class, which is usually the highlight of my Mondays, I usually leave yoga feeling very relaxed & awake & ready for the day, I left annoyed & not relaxed.

Then I had to drive twenty minutes away just to meet with this group from a class for a group project (*I HATE group projects, I work 10x better alone, not having to rely on other people) And I was already annoyed with the people in my group which didn't help.

It was just a really bad & annoying Monday morning/afternoon. BUT it was a good afternoon when I got to be outside, downtown, enjoying the sunshine & fresh air, then I spent some time with my family for dinner.

The ugly...
*disclaimer, don't keep reading if you don't like hearing about gross things, I'm just sharing the ugly part of my bad day*

I woke up this morning, feeling OK, started getting ready for the day, was ready to get this presentation with my group out of the way. But once I got out of the shower I started to feel sick & gross, but I just ignored it, until I threw up not once, twice, but probably five times within a thirty minute period.

"Sweet, I have a presentation to do in an hour & I just threw up & feel like I'm going to pass out, its going to be a good day."

So once I was done with that whole mess, I felt alright, still debating with myself whether or not I was going to go to class. I didn't go. Every time I stood up to go finish getting ready, I'd feel like I was going to be sick again. I missed my presentation, but to be completely honest, I didn't feel that bad about it because I was in a bad mood already & I wasn't about to go stand in front of my class & present while feeling sick.

{FYI this throwing up & feeling sick, was from this little thing called "not taking care of your diabetes, even though you've had it for twelve years & you should know better."}

SO... pretty much even though the past two days have been obnoxious & annoying & making me wish I could go on a month long vacation to a secluded island, where I could just sit on a beach all day & do nothing but listen to music, read, & relax. *Only in my dreams.*

AND...I just had to vent, rant, & complain for a little while, but I know that...whenever I face trials of many kinds, because I know that the testing of my faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. {james one:two-four}

{I feel ya Alexander...}