ten at ten..

it's august!?

ten things about this {almost over} summer of eleven::

one) twin has been home for a while & it feels like she never even left!
two) my friend became a mrs. & I had fun being a part of her special day!
three) bike rides + a cute basket
four) hot hot heat + tan skin
five) loving on my babies + creating everything under the sun with construction paper
six) learning lots about relationships with people + my relationship with God.
seven) I crossed something off of my list of 30 things to do before I'm 30: #20
eight) fireworks on a rooftop + in a park.
nine) a lot of romans twelve.
ten) a week in nashville: old friends, new friends, seeing God through three sweet little boys, hot & sweaty & getting hands dirty, a homeless man asked me to marry him, sweet little cousins, long bus rides.

MY TWIN IS ALMOST HOME!!!

Today is June 20th & I will see my long-lost-twin-sister for the first time since January 8th! It is weird because it seems like a really long time ago, but also kind of just seems like yesterday!

This has been the longest we've been apart our whole life & after being glued to each others hips for 21 years we finally were doing life on our own, separately from each other. having separate adventures, meeting people as Lindsay or Courtney not as "twins", & we survived & it was good!! God yet again awe's me by His perfect timing with her & I experiencing life on our own for this past season of our lives, becoming individuals, not just twins, not always having someone to come with us, wait with us, a security blanket always at hand!

I'm stoked to see her. Excited to tell her random things that aren't really that funny, but she listens to anyway, hear her long stories, hear the great things God has done in her heart & life in the last few months, stay up late with her, talk in code, get to know her again, just spend time with her!!


I'm praying, praying, & praying some more that adjusting to being "twins" again goes smoothly & we pick up right where we left off!

This is a rich life I live.. thank God for a weekend full of people that make me smile, cool-summer nights, family, & a lot of veggin'!

Here's to a good start of a long next two months of watching babies everyday, being a twin again, & trying to have a little bit of free time!!

ten at ten..

ten at ten..

one) Michigan skipped spring, 40's to 90's... I'm digging the hot & sweaty lifestyle the last few weeks!

two) my skin is starting to look sun-kissed & it's not even officially summer yet! Typically it takes at least until the end of July for me to look somewhat tan!!

three) I don't think people understand the craziness of how soon my long lost twin comes home! We're talking two weeks from yesterday!!!!!!!!

*four) The last few days I've been in a funk making me really frustrated, annoyed, & in a bratty mood.. but thankfully it was just a funk, and I'm realizing I'm just really kind of selfish & God is just using circumstances to show me He's in control... not me!
{AND it's just always a punch/slap in the face for me to snap out of because I am SOOOOO spoiled with the life God has given me.. I might not have a million dollars laying around but I'm spoiled & take SO much in this life I've been given for granted wayyyy too easily & I let the feelings of wanting more or not being satisfied get in the way of my thanks/surrendering it all back the One who gave it to me...holla at my mumma for good heart/reality checks.}

five) I've been trying to avoid pants of any sort the last few weeks. Skirts & dresses please! {soon my twin will return home with several dresses waiting for me to borrow..!!}

six) Due to the lack of reliable radio in my car it is obnoxious having to find something to listen to while driving that is not fussy or country music.. so thanks to our friends in the North, CBC Radio 2 has become my new favorite thing in the morning while I drive to work & in the afternoon when I drive home.. I'm obsessed.

seven) I've been dating a pretty sweet guy that I had a crush on for a long time..for seven months now?! It's crazy & makes me happy!

eight) I'm going to Wayne State in the fall {FINALLY!!!!} & one of my sisters roommates is moving out in August.. hmm...

*nine) I've been reading a lot of my old journals lately.. it's SO crazy how different only a year can look from one to the next!?!? Good, bad, ugly, & everything in-between!!!

ten) Hoppipolla by Sigur Ros just came on my iTunes.. I think I will still enjoy this song until I'm 99 years old.

*kind of related: old journals & writing about the good, the bad, & the ugly, being spoiled with this rich life, all kind of correlate.

xox

the cliché thanksgiving blog..

I didn't want to do it, but it has to happen; the cliché thanksgiving blog..

First of all, it doesn't feel like Thanksgiving.. it definitely crept up on me, I don't know where November went + it's not as cold as Michigan typically is right now.

{side note: I feel like autumn is over right after Thanksgiving because the world is consumed by everything Christmas once it's over... even though it technically isn't winter until December 21st, so it makes me kind of sad that now I have to get ready for a long winter.}

Thanksgiving since I can remember in the Fillmore house {when we stay home} involves a lot of cooking, watching the parade, the whole clan under one roof, just spending time together, eating a lot, & the day typically ends with a lot of sweatshirts, pajamas, & being cozy while watching It's A Wonderful Life. It just makes me smile, happy, & feeling blessed.
So here are just some of the things I'm thankful for right now:my big family: mom & dad Fillmore, the sisters, & the brothers {my life would be so boring without them} + friends that I can talk about God with, what He's doing in our lives, & encourage each other + being a part of a church body that's alive & thriving to increase the Kingdom + second, third, fourth, hundredth chances.. how did I get so lucky & why has God blessed me so much?

{psalm one-hundred}

*I randomly saw Brandon Flowers last night {for FREE!} & can't stop listening to his song {Only the Young}, the video for it is pretty great.

alskdfj...

CAN I RAMBLE FOR A SECOND..OR TWO?

OF COURSE I CAN..SO HERE I GO.

IF YOU COULD ONLY UNDERSTAND THE AWE & MARVEL I HAVE BEEN IN OF MY GOD THE PAST FEW DAYS.

HONESTLY, MORE THAN ever. EVER. REALLY. HE IS JUST REVEALING SO MUCH TO ME & TEACHING ME SO MUCH RIGHT NOW, IT’S LEAVING ME AT A LOSS FOR WORDS.

{it’s not like I didn’t recognize His greatness, wonder, & mystery before, but it’s slapping me in the face these past few days!}

THE MONTH OF OCTOBER HAS BEEN KIND OF A ROLLER COASTER OF EMOTIONS, TOO MANY BUILT UP EXPECTATIONS, GOOD, BAD, UGLY, UPS & DOWNS, BROKENNESS, HURT, HAPPINESS, JOY.. AND EVERYTHING ELSE.

AND WHEN USUALLY MY HEART JUST GOES THROUGH THE MOTIONS & IN A WAY “COPES” WITH {whatever IT is} IN A WAY, MY GOD IS SHOWING ME THAT THESE THINGS HAPPEN.

THINGS COME & GO, BROKENNESS IS REAL, HURT IS REAL, BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL. FAITHFUL. FAITHFUL.

SO HE IS FAITHFUL, I KNOW THIS, BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT I LIVE IN AN IMPERFECT WORLD. BROKENNESS, HURT, LET DOWNS, & EVERYTHING ELSE HAPPEN AS A RESULT. THIS WORLD WILL ALWAYS LET ME DOWN.

IT’S THROUGH & IN THESE SEASONS OR VALLEY’S THAT HE IS PULLING US {ME} CLOSER TO HIM. EVEN WHEN I FEEL HOPELESS, BROKEN, PAIN, OR DESPAIR, AND TRY TO COVER IT UP WITH FALSE HOPE, OR A FAKE SMILE, HE IS WORKING TO SHOW HIMSELF TO ME & SHOW ME HIS GLORY, HIS HOPE, & HOW MUCH I NEED HIM.

SHOWING ME HOW LITTLE I AM & HOW GREAT HE IS.

SHOWING ME HOW I CAN PLAN ALL I WANT BUT HE ALREADY HAS MY LIFE MAPPED OUT. RIGHT WHEN I HAVE “ALL MY DUCKS IN A ROW” HE COMES & REARRANGES THINGS.

I CAN HOPE IN THIS OR THAT, BUT ONLY HE REMAINS.

HE’S THE PROVIDER.

HE'S THE HEALER.

HE’S THE ONLY ONE/THING THAT CAN FILL MY EMPTINESS.

HE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN RESTORE.

HE’S THE ONE I’M IN SERIOUS AWE OF.

FROM HIM & THROUGH HIM & TO HIM ARE ALL THINGS. TO HIM BE THE GLROY. FOREVER.

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL, CREATIVE, GRACIOUS, LOVING, MYSTERIOUS GOD HE IS.

LEAVES ME SPEECHLESS & IN WONDER & AMAZEMENT THAT I CAN’T WRAP MY MIND AROUND…

{who knows if any of this makes sense or if it’s just a bunch of words thrown together, but i don’t care, all I know is my God is moving & leaving me excited & wondering at His mystery.}

craving some fall...

Fall, is my favorite season, I love spring, summer, & winter (sometimes) but fall, is my all time fave. I think the mid-west does fall best & I think growing up with Michigan falls {cider mills, apple orchards, pumpkin patches, pretty leaves..} is why I like it. Although fall technically isn't until September 22nd, I feel like it starts once Labor Day comes around & school starts. I already started school & it's Labor Day weekend, so bring on fall!

{I love my summer, warm weather, (some) time off, being tan, going to the beach, sun dresses, but I'm ready for the cooler weather.}

Today was the almost perfect Saturday. I slept in a little, I bummed around Arts, Beats, & Eats with my sisters for a while, had my first pumpkin spice latte from the bucks, I wore my favorite sweater & wasn't too hot, I played my guitar for a little while to some Band of Horses songs {good fall music if you're looking for something to get into fall mode.} (which are pretty easy to strum & sing to, which makes me happy!), went on a bike ride date with my youngest brother to get ice cream, bought a new dress & tunic from Lost & Found which can be worn during fall with boots, & gathered some of my favorite things about fall...

1.) apple orchards
{my family for every year since I can remember has gone to Erwin's Apple Orchard to pick apples & pumpkins.. always a good time, always a good memory.}
2.) crunchy leaves
{sometimes I go out of my way to step on crunchy leaves.. and although I have bad memories of having to help my dad rack our mammoth backyard growing up, I still love crunchy leaves on the ground.}
3.) pumpkin spice latte's
{only enjoyable on a fall-esque day, nice & hot.}
4.) scarves
{thick knit scarves, or light weight lose fitting scarves, always my favorite.}
5.) earth tones
{I think I like earth tones all year round, but they are more fun during the fall to wear & fit in with the colors outside, I've been to a few fall weddings & think earth tones are ideal for weddings.}
6.) school supplies
{perhaps this is why I want to be a teacher...}
7.) boots
{not thick winter boots or rain boots, cute ankle-knee high boots, with a pair of skinny jeans or a dress.}
8.) cider mills
{doughnuts & hot cider.}
9.) franklin, tn
{fall time in the south is a little warmer & seems to go into at least December, but not just Franklin but the surrounding areas are pretty great to drive through when the leaves are changing colors.}
10.) bon fires
{a way to actually keep warm unlike bon fires during the summer..}

*happy {early} fall

*real childlike magic...

mad props to my sister for this picture...i just had to steal it though. not to sound cliche, but i really do think a picture is worth more than a thousand words. i could go on for hours probably talking about this picture. it just shows so much innocence, simplicity, love, joy....

although there is a lot going on in this picture, obviously the three girls on the tire swing definitely stand out the most. i love that they are wearing their summer clothes, it looks like the blonde darling is wearing her bathing suite, they are having an amazing time at a week of camp, their hair is blowing from swinging, they are meeting new friends, they are laughing, learning, growing, they are holding on super tight, they are probably giggling, & they are totally embracing their turn on that tire swing. . . . i l o v e t h a t.

so how does a picture of the nashville skyline & the batman building have anything to do with a darling picture of some girls on a tire swing...

well, those girls in that swing, may or may not remember that experience at their week of camp in the summer of two thousand and eight, but i definitely have fond, delightful, enjoyable, wonderful, nostalgic memories of being in the nashville area with my family during a large chunk of my childhood.

i think that i have fallen in love with such a city because of all my favorite memories from growing up are related to being in the nashville area at my grandpas old house, his crazy huge backyard with a hill up one side, downtown franklin, uncles & aunts, 8-10 hour rides in the car to get there, downtown nashville, the batman building, country music, opry, driving with my uncle during his senior year of high school to pizza hut listening to brown eyed girl, rec-world for go-carting, driving around the hills to see crazy huge houses, even my grandpas new house with my younger cousins, always having deli-style sandwiches for lunch, riding scooters up & down my grandpas street...

sigh... along with all that, for a really long time i wanted to work in the music industry in nashville, because i really do love music and always thought that sort of job would be a lot of fun to have... but this last semester i definitely changed my mind and am 99.9% sure i want to be an elementary school teacher. i still want to live in nashville though.

i honestly pray often that God would send me down there eventually, and i do believe that God puts desires in our hearts & wants to bring us those desires. He knows i want to and long to live there so badly, i just have to wait on His timing, to see if that is where He takes me!

hopefully one day i can call the 615, nashvegas, or music city usa h o m e.

ps. it is raining at the moment..i l o v e the sound of rain outside. i also l o v e sitting in my grandpas covered back porch in nashville when it is raining...