Thursday, January 8, 2009

*hey 2 0 0 9!

Well it has been two-thousand-and-nine for a week now, and I've been thinking a lot since. I've been trying to simplify where I was this time last year and think about changes or differences that have taken place since this time last year.

In January of 2008, I was just under six months away from graduating from high school, I worked, a lot, I was at church a lot, I had a car, I lived in a different house. Reading in my personal journal from this time last year, I had just accepted the idea that I would most likely be staying home for college, I wanted to be a business major or a psychology major, I was deciding if I wanted to go to Camp Barnabas or West Virginia with WSM, and my top three goals for the year were the same as they always and still are.

1. Get to really know God more, fall more & more in love with Him
2. Take better care of my diabetes
3. Be more healthy all in all.

*For the first goal, I think that I did pretty good with really getting to know my Jesus more and really fell in love with Him during the year. Until about September-ish of 2008, I felt like I was at a stand still in my relationship with my Jesus, and I really do not know why. I definitely have come out of that season with Him though! Which I am so thankful for. With a combo or Lighthouse, being involved with Kairos, being a leader for WSM this year, and just all around digging deeper into God's word and relying more and more on Him, I have just found comfort, joy, peace, and satisfaction with my Father, my Creator, my God. And just that, makes me smile.

*My second goal for 2008, I am still trying to do in 2009. I have come to the conclusion that since I have had diabetes for almost eleven years now, that I have become what I call a "lazy diabetic". I have found ways to become lazy with taking care of my diabetes. And since I take care of it on my own and do not really have someone telling me when to check my blood sugar or when to take my shot, I just kind of do my own thing. That has to stop. This year. For good. I guess it just really hit me since the fall time that as a result of me not taking the best care of my diabetes as I can, that I am hurting myself for the long run. The effects of constant high blood sugar is anywhere from major kidney problems, eye problems and in some cases blindness, bad circulation to my feet, and a slew of other things, and I would love to have a family of my own someday and if I don't take care of myself now, then how will I except to have my own kids, if I have problems like that. So it was definitely a wake up call for me this last fall, and it is not the most fun thing to do, but I do have a chronic illness, that is manageable, so its up to me to manage it.

*This last one, I would say I did alright with. All I do pretty much to keep myself healthy is run and attempt to eat healthy, but typically the running is the only thing that stays consistent. Not saying that I ran near as much as I could have during this past year, I did go running more than I thought I would. I enjoy it, I enjoy how I feel when I run, and I do love the feeling I get after I run. If only I could make myself get out there and do it more, then I'd be doing good. So we'll also be working on that again this year :)

*Since January 2008, I indeed did graduate from High School!! I went to West Virginia with WSM for a week to serve the people down there. My car and my phone died in 2008. I finally got a MacBook in 2008, and a new iPod, but lost the iPod...sad day. I technically "graduated" from WSM, but I have had the opportunity to continue to work as a co-leader for a fabulous group of junior girls, I love it! And I am pretty sure I do not want to be a business major anymore, which is still shocking to me, because that was something I wanted to do, to work in the music business scene and whatnot, but now I am 99% sure I am going into early elementary education, and possibly getting a child psychology type degree as well!

Pretty much, those are still my top three things I would like to develop and pursue more in this next new year. I want to continue to see God in everything, continue to pursue Him, continue to be in His word, and continue to seek Him everyday. I also just want to continue to let God open doors for me, show me where He wants me to go, and do. Conquer this disease called Juvinille Diabestes, and run more :). And I want to LOVE people more. Be there for people who need me. Be a better daughter, sister, and friend to the people in my life. And I want to just all around look more like Christ....


OK, enough of the new year. Check out this passage from Lighthouse on Sunday....

PSAML 37:3-4

mmm, I just love the comfort from these two verses. Although so many times I think "God, I am trusting in You and doing good, I am not getting the desires of my heart". I have learned a lot since the summer that God's timing is all that matters, not mine. God will bless me in His own time, as long as I am trusting in Him, and seeking Him always, then He indeed will give me the desires of my heart, in His own time. And I love that.

Also I do love music, worship music especially. And at Lighthouse on Sunday we sang a song called "Your Love Never Fails", by a group called Jesus Culture, its a conference I guess, I do not know that much about it (but it totally just came on & it made me very excited). The words in the song are crazy. Here are the lyrics, I think that the bridge at the end is my favorite line of the whole song. YOU MAKE ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR MY GOOD. How amazing is a God that wants the BEST for ME!?

"Nothing can separate
Even if I ran away
Your love never fails

I know I still make mistakes, but
You have new mercy for me everyday
Your love never fails

You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There may be pain in the night
But joy comes in the morning
And when the oceans rage
I don’t have to be afraid
Because I know that you love me
And your love never fails

The wind is strong and the water’s deep, but
I’m not alone here in these open seas
Cause your love never fails

The chasm was far too wide
I never thought I’d reach the other side
But your love never fails

You make all things, work together for my good"

*the rest of the album is equally great. You should check it out.

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