Thursday, September 9, 2010

playing grown up...

Recently I remembered the slogan for Toys R Us that says: "I don't want to grow up, I want to be a Toys R Us kid!"

This week more than ever, time & time again I've had that feeling. I don't want to grow up. A few weeks ago I turned 21 & when I was younger 20+ sounded SO old! I don't feel that old, even though I have some "grown up" responsibilities that I have to deal with in this season of my life, I'm still young.

Sometimes I try to pretend to be a girl version of Peter Pan & that my bank account will just put money in on its own, my diabetic related stuff would deal with themselves, my car would fix itself, or my college credits would turn into a degree with recess & snack time... then I open my eyes & that's not the case! Being somewhat "grown up" means I need a job to support myself, I need to take care of my medical stuff, I need to go to school to get a degree, to get a better job...etc.
So now I'm just finishing one of my favorite Disney movies: Beauty & the Beast. And it's reminding me of rainy afternoons with my sisters in the family room of our childhood home, with thick, dark, blue carpet, watching Beauty & the Beast, & eating granola bars. Those were the days. I have very fond childhood memories & remember wanting to "be a grown up", so here I am starting my adult life & longing for my childhood: the easy, play dates, stress free, pretend, playhouse days.
BUT on the contrary there are days I feel like a "real adult" {whatever that really entails} when I have to take care of important things, pay my insurance bills, fill out paper work, get up early on my day off to cross things off my list, be responsible, whatever it is, is when I feel like I'm "playing grown-up", {check out Brooke's blog about playing grown up!!} because I'm not 100% independent. I live back at my parents house, I'm not married like my mom was when she was 21, I don't own a home, pay taxes, have to grocery shop (anymore..), I have it pretty easy {in the grand scheme of things, even though sometimes it doesn't feel like that!}, therefore I feel like I'm just pretending.
Someday, perhaps I'll feel like a true "grown up", until then I'll just finish watching Beauty & the Beast & sleep in tomorrow morning..

1 comment:

Lisa Fillmore said...

My wish for you is that your heart will always have that warm peaceful feeling of your childhood, even on the days that you have to be grown up. <3